Anne's diaries
"If I were to lie with a man that would be unnatural"

October/November 1831 - Hastings

Anne and Vere Hobart set up home together in Hastings.

"Incurred a cross last night thinking of Mariana. My cousin very gently on getting up - did not put on linen till 12 - Fine morning F61° at 9 a.m. - breakfast from 10 to 11:50 for interrupted perpetually. Hutton came & measured George for dress & undress suit of livery - his estimate about £18 - read him Miss Hall's Tailors's estimate & Lady Stuart's[1] & he came down to them[?] - afterwards[?] paid him £20 in full for liveries (taking off 1 pair smalls & greatcoat) & for my pelisse - Letter from my aunt at 10 - 3 pages and ends - the box to be at the Belle Sauvage Ludgate Hill at 8 this morning - sent after it - had been gone out with the other luggage by the porter at - so had the trouble of sending for nothing - must wait its arrival in Dover Street in the afternoon - left orders to have it sent to Lady S[tuart]'s for Norbury to bring - pretty good account of my aunt - begs me not to fidget myself about her leaving Shibden - went there meaning to stay, & had not changed her mind - settled all & off at 12:35 at least ½ hour too late - went to Jupp's for hat for George - then to Lambert's Coventry Street[2] saw very neat old chased coffee-pot would hold about a pint 10/- an ounce = 9.9.0 - not to keep it for me but if I write for it they would know which I meant - then to Strongitharm's - ordered dies for livery buttons & ordered buttons & paid the bill for all these & for the engraving & the marking stamp - then to Hammersleys - got a hundred pounds - found the letter of credit on their banker at Hastings for £500 on my desk last night - gave back the letter of credit for £500 on Amsterdam etc. & Brussels - spoke about the letter of credit for a large sum - not usual for them to give for more than £200 - got the printed papers & explanatory meaning to send one to Mr Rawson, & if he still objected said I should change my banker - at Lady S[tuart]'s Whitehall at 1:25 - Miss Mayo there - had come over to breakfast & spend the day - tearful parting between Lady S- & Miss H[obart] - off at 1:43 from Whitehall - Did not say much just at first but Miss H soon got composed then talked away but said nothing I wish unsaid. Said it had struck me the other day when Charles was ill that if anything happened to him Mariana would suit me very well. 'Ah,' said Miss H, 'I dare say you have thought of that long.' I did not exactly deny it but fought off - Changed horses at Bromley, a neat enough little town - should have been tolerably off had I staid a day or 2 (for writing out my accounts) at the Bell[3] - then made a detour of a mile to Sudbridge Lodge[4] (where arrived at 5:35) to dine with Miss H-'s friend Miss Jennison,[5] niece of the late Lady Pembroke[6] - No clean towel for me to wash hands and brush left in the pot of the water closet. She began by asking Vere first to be helped at dinner. Shy or gauche. There were [a] woman and [a] dirty boy and [a] dumb waiter, and the gardener's wife cooked for her - Alighted at the Crown Sevenoaks[7] at 7:40 - no sitting room upstairs - gave Miss H- the best bedroom (a comfortable good sized one) had a good fire & drank tea there - sat with her till 11 ½ then came to my room - she had volume 1 Hallam's Middle Ages.[8] I Lyell's Geology,[9] but we sat talking all the evening - tea at 8 - very comfortable - On standing looking at her for a moment - turned away asking if she remembered Ghent, asking why I looked at her so and saying it was disagreeable. I hoped she had observed my never having done it since. Yes, she had. I said she had taken me by surprise, but it was the first and would be the last time. I never forgot it, always every ten minutes thought of it when with her. She had said to herself I never looked at her so now spoke as if she had rather wondered and was glad to know the reason, but said it was better, tho' she did not seem cross and shew the same objection to it as formerly. I think she likes me better than she ever did. I am much more judiciou[s], very kind and attentive: far more so than any lady would be, but studiously avoiding all approach to, or semblance of, thought of anything more tender than the utmost friendship. On leaving her shook hands, she said 'May I not have a kiss the first night?' - gave her one coolly and came away. I feel coolly enough: she shall be the one to elicit more if more there is to be. I could and amuse her if she liked, but it be her own doing if done at all. I know she see[s] the difference, whether she really rejoices at it as much as she may wish to fancy is another matter - Fine day - F59° now at 12:50 tonight at which hour had just written all the above of today" (24-Oct-1831).

"Tolerably fine morning (rain in the night) F56° now at 9:40 - coldish - ready for breakfast at 9:50 - breakfast at 10 ¼ having had to wait till Miss H-'s room was done - off from Sevenoaks at 10:50 - very pretty drive - Tunbridge[10] very neat pretty little town - large handsome gothic school (right) on entering - beautiful drive from T- to Lamberhurst, nice village, change horses, & then beautiful drive to Robertsbridge, a very picturesque pretty village - very pretty country - beautiful drive all the way from Tunbridge - at 4:10 Battle - part of the little town straight over pretty little hill (right) its grassy slope the loveliest freshest green I ever saw - nothing like it but near Bath & in [illeg], when the grass is young - Battle a pretty little town - could not stop to see the remains of the old abbey[11] - a sort of gateway, a largish gothic building of which we said well! that it would make a good house - just a glimpse of the building within the gateway - must come & explore another time - a neat gothic church just on the other side of the road - longish line of battlements partly ivy covered wall - some rain had come on about 2 - from Battle & some distance before, it had been so thick we could not see much - must be very pretty drive to Hastings - rainy afternoon - arrived at St Leonard's in the dark at 5 ½ - lucky to be taken in - large handsome looking house - the master of the house (like a gentleman) came to us - comfortable rooms tho' downstairs - ground floor on entering, a premier on the other side - Dinner at 6:50 - tea at 8 ½ - Talking somehow we often get on the subject of her going to Naples. Very little would make her repent not having gone. She says she does not repent. I think she half repents already wrote the above of today till 9:50 - Miss H- wrote 3 pages to Lady S- & I the ends merely to say we had borne our journey exceedingly well with no disagreement but yesterday afternoon being rainy, & I would [take] as good care of my charge as I could - we should be off in good time tomorrow to seek for a house - the wind here very high - beats Highcliffe - sent the letter about 7 in time for the London post at 7 ½ p.m. - Norbury arrived by the coach at 7 ½ - brought letter from Lady S- and kind note from her to me & my box of linen & plate - then cutting open books - came to my room at 11:20 - found the smell in my room so intolerable, could not bear it - sent for brandy - would not do - had the chambermaid sent for, & got another room upstairs & came into it at 12:10 - then reading De la Beche's[12] geology manual first 16 pages till 12:35 - Rainy day from 2 p.m. tolerably fine before then - high wind tonight" (25-Oct-1831).

"Sat on the pot reading reading De La Beche's Geology ½ hour - rain in the night & rainy windy morning now at 9 ¼ at which hour F65° on my dressing table - Breakfast at 10 - then moved into suitable room upstairs - very rainy morning - Miss H- and I played a long hit at backgammon - kept the flya small, 2-wheeled carriage waiting 40 minutes & off alone (too strong wind & rain for Miss H- to stir out) at 12 ½ - drove to Hastings to Diplock's library for information about lodgings - bought catalogue of the library and Hastings guide, & Dr Harwood's[13] observations on various parts of the town as residences for invalids - subscribed to the library & newsroom - then set out apartment hunting all over the town... determined to confine our choice to 10 and 15 Pelham Crescent, 4 guineas & 4 ½ guineas a week for 6 months, and 5 Pelham Place, Misses Wooley & Cary [illeg] a boarding house 5 guineas a week, & 2 York Buildings 3 guineas, & 2 Croft, 2 ½ guineas a week for 6 months - home at 5 - sat talking - agreed to give up Miss Carey's, 5 Pelham Place & 2 Croft - Dinner at 6:20 - Miss H- read the Globe & my letter from M- Leamington (dated Sunday) 3 pages & one end that I found today at the P.O. at Hastings - It really seems as if Mariana meant to leave Charles. She was not quite satisfied, I think, with my so decidedly telling not to consult or tell me anything about [it] - she will name the thing to me no more, but tell her feelings and grievances to, and take the advice of, someone else. I have no idea she will be another year with Charles. What shall I do? I don't like it much  Miss H wrote note in my name to Miss Cary to go early tomorrow to say that on consideration I had determined to give up all thought of her apartment so that she need not have the trouble of writing or calling about it tomorrow morning between 10 and 11 - at 11 ½ began backgammon for ½ hour - I got a gammon - lost [illeg] hit this morning - came to my room at 12:10 - we had a fire all day - baking[?] on [illeg] near it - [illeg] of the wind that blew about the window curtains - very rainy day - no thermometer - unluckily knocked it down & broke it this evening - We agreed my wedding ring would look particular, so took it off just before backgammon tonight".

In the margin: Rallied her on speaking rather hastily this morning and cros[s]ly on my coming home and she becomes more lianteaffable/sociable" (26-Oct-1831).

"Soft mild muggy damp morning - great deal of rain in the night & very recently - thermometer broken last night - breakfast at 10... took Miss H- & went out in a fly at 12:55 to see the 4 apartments - went to a shop or 2 & to the library & thence to see Easthill House, All Saints Street[14] - would not do at all and determined upon No. 15 Pelham Crescent - the woman to come to us between 11 & 12 tomorrow to settle about it - gave back at the library Memoirs of Josephine[15] & got Frankenstein [illeg] 2 volumes - home at 2 ¾ - sat in my own room till 5 reading De la Beche's Geology - from 5 to dinner at 6:55 & finished a hit afterwards, played backgammon with Miss H-. She got 2 or 3 hits & I a hit and a gammon - tea at 9 - then read aloud from page 38 to 95 volume 1 octavo Gibbon - very rainy day & evening, the rain beat so against our window about 11 we could hardly hear ourselves speak & came for quietness to my room & sat till 12:55 at which time Miss H- went to bed - she had sat hemming 1 ½ dinner napkins while I read aloud. And so very cozy we were - she enjoyed it she now kisses me quietly night and morning, and my assiduous kindness and attention, tho' total[ly] avoiding anything like flirting or lovemaking. Will set her gradually more and at ease with me. Said today George should stand behind her chair. 'Oh no,' said she, 'that would not be right.' 'Yes,' said I, 'and then you will not have him looking at you.' - 'I would rather,' said she, 'have him look than you.' - 'Why?' - 'He does not think about it and you do.' I wonder whether we shall part without her really not caring for me more than she does now. A very little would [make?] her jealous of me already - Very rainy day & evening - high wind again this evening & night as yesterday" (27-Oct-1831).

"At 9 (George went to Hastings as yesterday for newspaper & letters) letter 3 pages & ends from Mrs Norc[liffe] October 24 (Langton) forwarded from Dover Street - asks me to meet them at Bath in December or the 1st week in January - will not go there without someone besides I[sabella]N[orcliffe] & C[harlotte]N[orcliffe] - 'If you can meet us I shall be most happy - if not I must form some other plan' - very good this would never suit me. I shall write kindly and civilly on the now impossibility etc. Half a word would bring them here but this would not do and so I told Miss H this morning - chit chat Yorkshire politics & other news - the reform meeting in York, a failure - breakfast at 10 ¼ = Read the Globe - Mrs Dove came about 11 ½ about the lodgings - the paper she had written of agreement would not do - longish while arranging & writing out others - can't get into the apartment till tomorrow week 5 November - have taken it from then to 1 March at 5 guineas a week including all expense of cooking & kitchen fire & house work upstairs & down, the use of as much plate and linen as I may require - take the apartment from 1 March to 1 April on the same terms but at the reduced price of 4.14.64 pounds 14 shillings & sixpence a week and, if I choose to keep it, to have it from 1 April to 1 May on same terms but at 3 guineas a week - then reading the rest of the newspaper & talking about Mr [illeg] certainly not in his praise - and about the MacLeans and the ruined state of their finances, etc. till three and twenty minutes - Had the hotel bill up to today after breakfast £8.11.0 - apartment a guinea a day - servants living 5/. each! - our expenses will average 3 guineas a day paying the servants of the house & all included - to say of flys[?(carriages)] - wrote the above of today till 4 - then wrote 3 pages & ends to Mrs Norcliffe mentioning having written to her by Louisa Belcombe who was to leave London for York on this day last week - should have been sure of a very pleasant winter with her at Bath but feared I could not now think of it, as I had just taken an apartment at Hastings till April - unfortunately begin to doubt already whether it would suit me or not as I had a pain in my knees that was far too like rheumatic - a drier aired place would certainly suit me - my chest less to be considered than Miss H-'s; but tho' too late for this time, should know for another that chests & knees had different likings, & stood at different heights on the hygrometer - perhaps Hastings might suit Mrs N[orcliffe] better than Ramsgate, but should hesitate to say so now, for things might be off as soon as the loss on the lodgings should be warrantably small - my thoughts were turning to the country for spring & summer, & the south of Italy for next winter - said all this to prevent her thinking of coming for that would not suit me at all - said did not know what sort of society we should pick up, but neither Miss H- or I meant to give into evening visiting - As Mr Scott has got the typhus fever among his stable boys should not like to put Joseph there just now, but should be glad to know what could be done for him - gave my address 15 Pelham Crescent Hastings expecting to get there tomorrow week - short description of St Leonard's as a quite new good substantial village for the accommodation of [illeg] a batting[16] company; of various architecture, gothic & Grecian, & very pretty - Hastings too very prettily situated - agreeable town, & all the company part handsome - then wrote 3 pages & ends to my aunt - mentioned the box being here but not yet opened - should get to our apartment tomorrow week 15 Pelham Crescent Hastings Sussex - mentioned what we were to pay - 5 guineas a week including cooking & kitchen fire & housemaid's work - not dear - said M[ariana] had bought me 2 pairs sheets & some table cloths & table napkins & towels - sheets Russian & excellent & 4 yards by 3 for £2. Said I had bought second hand silver teapot & ½ dozen tea spoons - the plate & linen would make us much more comfortable & save themselves into the bargain - with what I have & what Lady S[tuart] had lent us shall be sufficiently handsomely set up - not likely to buy many household things at home - all so much better got in London - glad to have so improved an account of herself - glad she is so satisfied with the plan for the winter - have brought George & shall keep him while I am here & probably to the day of embarking for the continent - politics not likely to prevent my seeing Rome & Naples - should not be satisfied not to see them & it might unsettle me to greater[?] disadvantage hereafter than now - but we should discuss this some other time - would not let Hinchcliff have 'the few coals that remained' at any price - these formed the barrier I had been so anxious to maintain & had so many doubts and fears about - Sent off at 6:40 letter to my aunt 'Mrs Lister, Shibden Hall, Halifax, Yorkshire' & to 'Mrs Norcliffe, Langton Hall, Malton, Yorkshire' - dinner at 7 in ½ hour - afterwards won one & lost 2 hits at backgammon - tea at 9 ¼ - wrote so far of this page till 10 ½ - then 1 ¾ page to M[ariana] - Miss H reading volume one Frankenstein till made her nervous - came to my room at 11:50 - Rainy morning but fair from about 2 & finish windy afterwards & evening" (28-Oct-1831).

"Great deal of rain in the night - soft damp morning - read the first 200 pages vol.1. Frankenstein in my room - breakfast at 9:40 - out at 11 - sauntered about for an hour - then returned & sauntered about for an hour (from 12:20 to 1:20) then immediately out again walked by the road we came (to where we turned off from the Hastings road) & along a footpath until Hastings - then up to the castle - 20 minutes walking about there - then down into George Street & King Street - bought thermometer & toasting fork - inquired prices of meat beef mutton & veal but pieces dearer now than last week could not be afforded for less than 7½d a lb - might have driven to Hastings a hundred times in a carriage without knowing ½ so much of the place as I do for the one walk - very fine view from the castle - returned by the carriage road (along the sea) and home at 4 ¼ - sat talking to Miss [H?][17] till near 5 - dressed - won 1, lost 2 hits at backgammon - dinner at 7 - my cold much better than last night (from my walk of today, & from having no fire [illeg] yesterday) but not well enough to read aloud - just skimmed over the Globe. Captain Yorke's[18] speech on offering himself for Cambridgeshire - tea at 9 - Talked to Miss H speaking of getting somebody else to live with me as she wouldn't. 'Could not,' said she, 'not would not.' Laughed and answered I don't mind could not but it is would not. Afterwards joked and said 'Miss' did not [do?] for all one's life - I would marry someone for four years. Then after some other talk something made her say: 'You would pin me down if you could,' (meaning to promise living with me) 'you are always trying.' I said this was quite a libel. The fact is I don't know that I really mean it, at least if I thought I could easily succeed I should not now be very keen about it. Should at all events take my time - yet she asked me today if the toasting fork might be always hers and asked me tonight to give her a mother-of-pearl book-knife, and when I talked lightly twice today of giving her a watch she said it would cost four hundred franks - a large sum. But yet she made not a very languid objection to taking it. I can scarcely make her out, but surely she cannot much dislike me. Fine day - a few drops of rain between 11 & 12 - F63 ½ now at 11:55 at which hour going to my room" (29-Oct-1831).

"Fine frostyish morning & F61° at 7 ¼ - dressed - out at 8 ½ - walked along the down as far as the Martello Towers[19] & flat part of the coast & then along the high road to about a mile from Bexhill, met an oldish woman who turned out to be a washwoman, Mrs Dowes living at the bookseller's at Bexhill - her rate of washing shift 2d nightgown 3d gown 10d - pair sheets 6d pillow case 1d tablecloth common size (not very large) 2d table napkin 1d - the people at Bexhill find fault with her for charging so low - gave her daughter who helped her 1/-1 shilling a day & many little perquisites - beautiful morning - home at 10 ¾ - dressed - breakfast at 11:10 - finished volume 1 Frankenstein - glanced at the newspaper - Captain Yorke about 200 behind Mr Townley for Cambridgeshire - walked with Miss H- on the esplanade from 1:10 to 2:10 - then had hair dressed and asleep twenty minutes in my room. Miss H- & I went to church at 3 - service done in the tearoom on the west side of the large handsome ball room - a familiar reading parson but gave a good practical sermon (from Hosia verse 16 in 25 minutes) on the varied ways in which we deceive ourselves as to repentance & "return but not to the most Highest" - on coming home stood talking of the sermon & of religious opinions in general till near 6 - then wrote the last ¼ page 2 and page 3 & the ends & finished my letter to M- begun on Friday - very sorry it had not occurred to me at the time that yesterday was no day (on account of Sunday in London ) - afraid of not catching M- at Leamington - begged her to write again as soon as she could after receiving my letter - very anxious about her - she is perpetually in my thoughts - & that I speak not think not as she likes, grieves me more than I think she can imagine - 'you wonder if our last meeting in London was any comfort to me (all this written page 2 on Friday) 'yes! certainly it was - I should have been better pleased, & more happy to have seen you in better spirits, but I would rather see you under any circumstances than not at all - I see plainly that on one particular subject, my opinions are far from being yours - all I can do is to hope that yours are better than mine - I grieve over having said anything you would rather I had not said - I think more of you that you imagine, & should be quite unable to resist yielding more to inclination than conviction, were the latter at all less strong - whether my advice was the best or not, you seem almost to deny having the physical power to follow it - I dare not speak again - you make me mistrust myself & seem to hope that you may & will apply to someone where judgement, being more free, will be more just than mine - Forgive me Mary' - (my meaning was 'you make me mistrust myself, & make me seem to hope etc.') Had before said we should get into our apartment, 15 Pelham Crescent Hastings, on Saturday - sent off at 6 ¾ my letter to 'Mrs Lawton Copp's Hotel[20] Leamington Warwickshire' - dinner at 7 - sat talking (chitchat) till 9 - then tea - wrote all the above of today till 11 ½. Miss H writing copy of letter to her brother Lord B[21] on the subject of the fourth part of fifteen thousand pounds (the fortune of her brother Charles[22] who died perhaps twenty years ago) with interest thereon. I advising divers alterations in the wording. She shewed me her younger brother's letter asking for five hundred pounds and his thanks for four hundred, and his receipt for the same on a five-shilling stamp she herself bought and sent him. All which nor Lady S nor anybody had seen. Fine day - F62° now at 11:40 - came to my room at 11:50" (30-Oct-1831).

"Appears to have been some rain in the night - finish morning - f61° now at 8 ¼ - out a 8½ - walked to the end of the private road leading to Battle, & then turned left along a narrow very dirty lane & not pursuing it quite to the end but going thro' a ford or 2 got into the Bexhill road at 10:05 about ten minutes from St. Leonards - turned & walked almost to the Bull Inn[23] Tolhurst's, & home at 11 - just changed shoes & stockings - breakfast at 11:10 - afterwards (till one) began & read aloud about ½ volume 2 of 'Frankenstein or The Modern Prometheus. By Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley. In 2 volumes a new edition London printed for G. & B. Whittaker, Ave-Maria-Lane 1823 printed by Thomas Davison, Whitefriars'. 2 volumes 12mo [duodecimo] volume 1 pages 249 volume 2 pages 280. Dressed - walked with Miss H from 1 ¾ to 2:20 on the esplanade & just behind the houses - then sat reading to the end of volume 2 Frankenstein - odd - strangely odd, genius-like, cleverly written with thought - then had hair done - all this and talking to Miss H took till five then won 3 hits at backgammon - dinner at 6:50 - tea at 9 - then wrote the above of today - from 9:50 to 11 read aloud from page 95 to 135 (chapter 3) volume 1 Gibbon 8vo [octavo] while Miss H- sat by me hemming 2 of the dining napkins - How social & comfortable! Went to own room at 11 ¼ at which hour F58° - yet Miss H- not cold - no fire at all today or yesterday, or even Saturday till evening - fine day - high whistling wind towards night" (31-Oct-1831).

"On the pot and at about seven and ten minutes parted with worm seven or eight inches long, pointed at each end looking rather whitish and gut-like, tho' resembling a sickly long garden worm. It moved languidly when I lifted it up with end of my toothbrush  finish dull morning windyish f60 ½ at 8 a.m. Out at 8 ¼ - walked to the turnpike 2 miles + 3 furlongs from St. Leonard's then 10 minutes along the Battle (Bartle as the countryman pronounced it) & back the same way & at home at 10 ¾ - very windy walk - breakfast at 11:05  having changed shoes and had hair done - walked with Miss H- from 12:40 to 1:40 up the hill on the road towards Battle - on returning went into the assembly rooms & took a ticket for Mr Rogers's course of 3 lectures - two to be on astronomy, one on optics, and came in at 1:50 - skimmed over the globe newspaper - Mr Townley the reform member 428 ahead of Captain Yorke for Cambridgeshire - Dressed and cut toe and fingernails till three and a half. Miss H on going to bed last night gave me no kiss. Laughed and said 'I never give more'. Very well, said I and smiled and let her go, nor thinking nor caring. But this morning at breakfast for something to say I joked about eating more breakfast after my anxious dreamful night in consequence of her obduracy. She laughed and said 'I hate to give more' (meaning a kiss). 'Come,' said I laughing, 'at any rate that is not indifference, and it is that one prays against.' In walking I descended from the raised way and looking towards her. 'Well,' said she, 'you did that only to have a better view of me.' I laughed and said: 'How can you give such a reason?' In fact, really had not thought. We then went into a very pretty, well-planned cottage to be sold. I was in good spirits and looking at her playfully said: 'Well, you would make this your dining room.' She interpreting my looks far beyond their meaning. Said: 'I wish you would not do that; you know what I mean.' I made no reply but looked into the rooms without waiting for her. Went all over and for the rest of our walk did not turn my eyes towards her one atom more than common civility required. Thought I: 'Your ideas certainly outstrip mine. You often put things into my head and I really do begin to fancy your feelings are perhaps oftener in fault than mine. I am not so ardent as you think.' It is impossible for me to be natural with her but I am too old to care a farthing about it. I shall certainly not fret much. She had a letter this morning from aunt Stuart and one from her brother Lord B - wrote the above of today till 4 - then took out my travelling daybook but looking for bills & somehow got nothing done till 5 when had all to put away again - Thinking to play backgammon with Miss H. She came to say she was writing to her brother and had rung for candles. Could not do without them when alone  Dawdled & did nothing but read, as I do whenever I can, in dressing or at any other moment, a few pages of De la Beche's geology till 6 - then went into the drawing room & won 2 hits off Miss H- at backgammon - Dinner at 7 - All had gone well while playing. At dinner so pointedly avoided all looking at her she must, and did, observe it, tho' I was perfectly kind and attentive - at 8 went over the way into the ballroom to Mr Rogers's lecture on astronomy - foolish concern concluded by 20 minutes exhibition of sections of different woods etc. reflected from a solar microscope - he thought the wonders of the water spring discovering hazel rod in some hands not to be discredited - might depend on some electrical affinity between the twig & the springs when wielded by particular hands - tubes in the hazel twig containing a very subtile fluid - electricity he thought - the use of the hazel rod for this purpose to be traced down from the Egyptian magic - Sir Richard Phillips[24] the great denier of Sir Isaac Newton's theory of the tides - Dr Fortnes? the German mathametician the great theory about the moon says he had distinguished a newly repaired castle there & perfectly straight roads at right angles to each other - Mr Rogers of opinion there is no water in the moon because if there was there would be evaporation & then there would be an atmosphere, which there is not - back from the lecture at 10:20 - tea - from 11 ½ to 12, read aloud chapter 4, i.e. from page 135 to 167 volume 1 Gibbon - came to my room at 12:10 at which hour F65° in the drawing room with fire all the day - F64° in my room now at 12:35 tonight - fine day & fine night but very high wind as indeed we have had all the day - Talked on coming back but still avoided looking. She seemed to hold out her hand so took it gently and gravely and came off. I shall go on rather more dignifiedly than hitherto, tho' with perfect kindness and the utmost civility of attention. Has she heart to feel the change other than a thing for the better? I neither know nor care much, I can get on the winter well enough" (1-Nov-1831).

"It had been raining in the night - finish dullish windy morning F62 ½ now at 8 - In 5 minutes opened the Globe & read the loss of the Cambridge election to Captain Yorke by a majority of 526 - at least he wisely retired from further contest - out at 8 ¼ - walked along the road by which we arrived, & then turned right & came out at this end of Hastings - rained for ½ hour - then fair while in returning the same way, stopt to look at the outside of the neat old manor house-style place I passed on SaturdayOctober 29 to be sold that might do well enough in part at least, as a model to be borne in mind for Shibden - took a turn or 2 backwards & forwards to fill up the time & came in at 10:50 - breakfast at 11:10 & dawdled over it reading the paper (the Globe that I take) till 12:25 then came to my room  perpectly[sic]perfectly kind and civil but still averted eye and merely newspaper conversation and ordered dinner and came to my room directly. Commonplace greeting on meeting. Gave her no opportunity even had she wished it for shaking hands. I had thought of her in walking: 'Perhaps,' said I, 'things are best as they are, best to run no risk of attachment.' I know that providence orders all things wisely, 'tis well perhaps that I should say of Miss H and my own heart: she found it warm and open as a summer's day; she left it closed in wintry mists and cold as they - wrote the above of today till 1 - then at travel accounts till 1:35 & went out with Miss H- at 1 ¾ for an hour - ½ of it on the esplanade, then other ½ under the portico on account of rain - then (from about 2 to after 3) at my accounts then had Miss H- sitting in my room trying in vain to use the stamp of my arms to mark the dinner napkins, & sat talking (science & general knowledge) till 6 - dressed - just took her the stamp and she came into my room to try and was glad enough to stay. I talked as if all was quite right yet without looking and studiously avoiding anything the least affectionate in manner. Query will she not in spite of herself regret my altered manner and wish for back again every look she has throw[n] off - Lost a hit a backgammon to Miss H- dinner at 7 - went to Mr Roger's lecture at 8 - waited 20 minutes - waited 10 minutes when the astronomical part was over then 20 minutes of microscopic phenomena & home at 10:25 - tea - Miss H- sat in my room while I was away - & returned for a few minutes after tea - she held out her hand and left me at ten minutes before 12. I feel comfortably enough cooled toward her - how will it end? nothing very new in the lecture - much bad pronunciation metempsychosis, e.g. met-em-sic-o-sis, etc. - Longitudes only to be made out by eclipses - eclipses of satellites of Jupiter by means of small telescope & timepiece & nautical ephemeris without which 3 things nobody should travel. Representation of the oldest astronomical known taken from Moor's Hindoo Pantheon[25] - Mr Rogers advocated spontaneous generation - disease in vegetables or animals generates life - take a drop of distilled water put it on the horizontal plate of the microscope - no animalculae appear - put into this water some of the powdered seed of the common betonica & ten thousand animalculae will appear then die, & then will succeed[?] vegetation - the pus of diseased lungs spit up swarms with animalculae - wrote last 15 lines - rain while I was out this morning & at 2 ¼ for ½ hour - the rest of the day tolerably fine - F57° in the sitting room at 10 ½ p.m. no fire & 63° in my bedroom (no fire, but over the kitchen) now at 12 ½ tonight" (2-Nov-1831).

"Had been a good deal of rain in the night - fine morning & F56° at 8:20 - out at 8 ½ looking at the large house near Mr Burton's house then walked to the milepost marked 60 (miles from London) on road towards Battle, & back the same way & came in at 11 - breakfast at 11 ¼ - in returning just near home thinking of Miss H so as to excite me, and stood ten minutes in the road with my hand touching me but not enough to incur a cross - Read over the paper(Globe) & came to my room at 1 - The fire just lighted, she said perhaps I should be cold in my room and return, but I merely said 'my room is very warm, perhaps you will be less cold there?' She meant it perhaps as a gentle invitation to get me back. But I would not take it. Shall be more comfortable by myself. I wonder what she thinks of it all? A pretty beginning for the winter. I care not. Kind letter this morning (under cover to Mr Courtenay to Hastings) before going out 3 pages of half sheet from Lady Stuart - sorry for my cold - will be anxious to hear it is better - Miss H- must take care of me - Lady S little knows or dreams of so much nonsense between us. I may perhaps carry the thing too far. But when she on Tuesday observed on my looking at her in a way she could not bear, had at breakfast that morning said she hated kissing me, and had before said I did all I could to pin her down (to live with me she meant), it was time to do something to lull her fears! Miss H two letters from Miss Mayo and her younger brother. Speaking of the latter she said he had refused to part with his oldest daughter not to make her better off than the rest (I guess she meant Lady Buckinghamshire) but that she, Miss H, wished she had her or one younger. I merely observed that perhaps her (Miss H's) friends would think her too young for such a charge. Thought I to myself this does not look as if she had much thought of immediate matrimony - wrote the above of today till 1:40 - then at my travelling account till 3 ¾ & brought it down to the present time - then till 4:35 looking over private account bills, & prepared for doing something - entering them another time - then went into the sitting room & sat talking to Miss H- till 6 ½ - conversation more or less on scientific subjects - dressed - dinner at 7 - read 20 pages (to page 120) De la Beche's Geology - tea at 9 - from 9:50 read an hour then 10 minutes nap, & read again till 11:20 from page 167 to page 220 volume 1 8vo [octavo] Gibbon's Decline & fall of the Roman empire - Miss H- hemming dinner napkins - came to my room at 11 ½ - She came with me and shook hands. She is beginning to make up a very little more to me, seeing my immoveable distance of manner and averted looks  finish day - F61 ¾ in the sitting room at 11 ½ p.m. fire in the room all the day, & F59° in my room now at 12:10 tonight - no fire but my room over the kitchen & very warm, very comfortable" (3-Nov-1831).

"fine frostyish morning F54° now at 8 ½ a.m. 5 minutes reading the Globe - out at 8:35 - walked to the pretty neat village of Bexhill across the fields - there in 1:05 hour - ten minutes looking about me - a pretty cottage or 2 looking rather eastwards on this side but close to the village - the thought came across me, shall I have a room here for my books - or if my aunt cannot remain at Shibden, a cottage here for her? - I will see this village again - returned in an hour, the same way, & came in at 10:50 - found Miss H- on the sofa, with a sick headache - breakfast at 11:10 - skimmed over the Globe - from 12:55 to 1:25 read aloud (not liking to have her as she was not well) from page 220 to 236 volume 1 Gibbon - went out with Miss H- at 1:40 - went to see Gloucester Lodge[26] (the Princess Sophia of Gloucester[27] left it only on Thursday) & the Clock house to be had at 7 guineas a week or less if hired for the winter - then went to look at number 35 Marine Parade - called simply number 35 Marina - then took a turn or 2 on the esplanade & came in at 3 ¼ - then in my own room till 4:25 read from page 126 to 142 De la Beche's geology - went into the sitting room at 4 ½  Miss H writing to her brother Lord B. Read me the alterations she had made in the rough draft done the other day  Read till 6:50 page 142 to 155 De la Beche's geology - then read aloud from page 236 to 270 and of chapter 6 volume 1 (8vo [quarto]) Gibbon - dressed - dinner at 7:10 - Took Miss H- at 8 to Mr Rogers's lecture on optics from 8 ½ to 9:25 & from 9 ½ to 10 views on the 'new & splendid apparatus called the Dissolvent Diorama' - the views really do diffuse away one into another in a most extraordinary manner - the change is produced without one's seeing it tho' looking at the apparatus steadily all the while! home at 10 - tea - came to my room at 11 ¾ - the most material & only material part (all the rest desultory trifling) of the lecture was on the idea of a friend of his (probably himself?) that light being a material panderable body (refracted by attraction when falling obliquely) it is the impulse of the sun's light that causes the diurnal motions of the planets[28] - Lord Brougham the first optician of his day - vide his beautiful work on refraction & vision - quizzed a pretended great writer of the present day for his 4to [quarto] volume to shew among other things that Newton was wrong about colours not 7, but only 3 - (Sir Richard Phillips?) - black absorbs most heat (which reflects all) but radiates most, so that the heat absorbed during the day is radiated (given out by radiation) at night & black is therefore the worst covering for night - great [illeg] to black fruit walls - a noblemen complained that his gardener had blackened the fruit walls, & the trees were so starved at night, half of them died - very fine frostyish day - F84¼° now at 12 ¼ tonight in my bedroom - only 58° in the sitting room with good fire, & good fire all the day" (4-Nov-1831).

"rainy morning - but high wind & fair at 8 ¼ at which hour F55° - out at 8:40 - walked to the first guide post beyond the private road to Battle & back at 10:10 having stood some time for shelter under the lee of the rain - rained pretty smartly set on by strong wind all the while I was out - Changed my dress - Letter from M[ariana] (Leamington) 3 pages & ends & the first ½ page crossed - had fidgetted herself at not hearing me sooner - their plans for the winter still unsettled - going to Lawton for a short time & to visit the Ackers at Cheltenham in December - might perhaps still go to Boulogne for the winter, tho' no house to be had there - all the good houses taken at Leamington - anecdote of Lady Gartnor getting pelted by two men & spit in in[sic] her carriage the other day driving out near Leamington, the men saying they had as much right to the carriage as Lady G- had - so much for the spirit of reform - breakfast at 10:40 - Settled with Miss H. She paid her share of the bill here halfing all but the servants. She only paying for her own maid. On paying my half the cost of groceries from groceries[sic] and asking about carriage, 'Oh no!,' said she, 'you paid for my journey from London.' So that, thought I, is settled, and she has let me pay all without making many objections. Well, she likes me well enough to let me pay for and give her as much as I like - wrote the above of today etc. till 2 ¼ - then went into my room - read from page 156 to 181 De la Beche's geology - Off from St Leonard's hotel at 4:20 & alighted at our apartment number 15 Pelham Crescent at 4:35 - arranging my room - Miss H- to have [illeg] trouble of housekeeping - dinner at 7 - tea at 9 - from 10 ¾ to 11:20 read aloud from page 270 to 301 volume 1 Gibbon - opened the box of plate from Shibden - found a cake of parking[sic]parkin sent by Cordingley to George of which Miss H- & I ate at tea  she said it was next to vanille cake in goodness and spoke as if with some regard or consideration for Shibden as my place. Even on Wednesday and more yesterday and this evening she seemed, in the absence of my attentions to her, more attentive to me at last. On seeing up to this evening my still averted eye and altered manner, I saw she was nervous even before I began to read. Afterwards on seeing her in tears I asked if I had said anything unkind. "Oh no," and this led on till I at last got her to say she was afraid I should think myself out of charity with her. On this I explained, assuring her that was at least impossible. The danger was the other extreme: the medium the difficult thing to attain. I could only hope for its attainment thro' the safer extreme of the two. By Torneo's frozen brow[29] between this and the tropics which would she choose? For one must be. There was no alternative. I owned myself what she had said: I was ultra. Why, she asked, was I so, but still owned she would not choose the frozen extreme. I repeated what she had said the other day about pinning her down and about looking at her in the cottage on Tuesday. She said I thought too much of things. I said she mistook me. As to pinning down, now would not be the time; it would be dishonourable and I would die rather than do it. I would answer for my conduct - for feelings was another thing. It was nonsense to talk of wonder[ing] why I did so and so or say she was this and that and not suited and unworthy etc, etc. Fancy was a stubborn thing - mine was too strong. For me I would not feel as I did if I could help. This, she said, spoilt all. 'No,' said I, 'but I cannot make you quite understand. Had you been married six or seven years ago and now in weeds I could have said much I cannot now. You would have been very different.' 'Well, but,' said she, 'if I had been very different you would not have liked me so much.' 'You are right,' said I, 'and what you have just said speaks volumes. Come, we will not make ourselves uncomfortable anymore.' I am determined I will not be scolded regard when real[ity?] is a touchy thing to play with. We shall do better in future. I kissed her gently saw her half way to her room and came up to bed. Come, I see how it is: she likes me. I really will behave delicately and the only mischief lest I should end by being in love and she find me more necessary to her happiness than she thinks. I really did feel for her tonight and respect her too. She said, in tears, 'You must not desert me now, neither really nor in mind.' She had early in the evening tried to joke and said: "When you build and I furnish for you." She likes [me?] certainly - It struck 2 as I wrote the last words - very rainy windy day - F54° now at 2 tonight - Mariana might well say she felt all slipping from her. The expression struck. How will it all end? Does she deserve me? Would she with all my bitter rem[em]brances or Miss H suit me best? Or will Vere take Lochiel? How will it all end?" (5-Nov-1831).

"Rainy morning F53° at 9 ½ a.m. - breakfast at 10:40 - sat talking - read aloud to the servants the morning prayers at 1:25 in ½ hour - then read aloud in 25 minutes to Miss H- alone one of Somner[?]'s sermons from a little volume of collection of sermons - sat chatting very comfortably till came upstairs at 4:10 - had Stevens to speak about a hired phaeton & about horses - a [illeg] horse 7/- a day or 2/6 for the first hour & 2/- for each hour afterwards - might have his little phaeton with one horse for 2 ½ guineas a week - a saddle horse at 2 guineas a week - post horses from here to St Leonard's 7/6 to Battle 8 miles 18/- etc. etc. Wrote 3 pages & a good deal very small & close under the seal to Lady S[tuart] said Miss H- had a light cold & a little gentle cough now & then but used the ringer[30] & water denied having any expectoration & I hoped would do [illeg] to the climate of Hastings by & by - our apartment worth waiting for - sheltered by the cliff from all but the but the sea, but strong winds from this quarter almost ever since our arrival & Hastings not quite so warm as I expected - but this, they say, the worst month & hope we shall go on improving - should be delighted to see Lady S- the sooner the better - Miss H- enclosed my letter to the 'Honourable Lady Stuart' under cover with one from herself to Lady S-. Sent it at 6 ½ - dinner at 7 in ½ hour - asleep about an hour - tea at 9 - Miss H- wrote her journal - I read from page 181 to 196 De la Beche's geology & then wrote the above of today till 11:10 - Rainy strong very windy day - came to my room at 11 ¼ - F56½° now at 11:35 p.m." (6-Nov-1831).

"F56° & very fine morning now at 8 ¾ (having paid him his last quarters wages & settled with George) went out at 8:55 all along the marine parade to the farthest end of the town [illeg], then, by Eastbourne started on the Down till I looked down Miss [blank] stood some time musing - then walked slowly back, & by Wickham row to the turnpike - returned along High Street - went into a shop or 2, & came in at 11 ¼ - breakfast at 11 ½ - at one went out with Miss H- about piano & then shopping for table linen & towels at Clements in the fishmarket, & for knives etc. into High Street - left her at home about 2 ½ and bought backgammon board etc. & engaged the piano at the Wellington library - at 25/- a month if from now to 1 April but if only kept it one month to pay 1 ½ guineas - home at 4 ½ - came upstairs at 5 - the piano came ½ hour afterwards - up & down stairs - dawdled over 1 thing or other - Before coming up sat on the sofa by Miss H. I asked her to put her feet more on to the sofa and make room for me to sit. No, but I might put them up if I liked, which of course I did. She told me this morning of standing wrong. She told me and mimicked yesterday some of my sayings and is getting quite at ease with me, and appears even getting familiarized with the idea of being with me in future. She talks of what we shall do at Naples next winter. I said something when out this morning about her choosing things. V was very civil and she just said you won't always be so civil. I laughed a little while ago and said 'Oh, if I once get you to Shibden I won't have too many doors for you to get out at. Nobody shall run away with you. I shall never let you be out of my sight for fear.' She seeming nothing displeased said 'then I might as well be in a convent.' Many other little things I seem not to notice makes me think we get on very swimmingly. 'Tis evident enough she does not dislike me or my attentions and I really begin to feel a little like being in love at times. She says I have more sentiment than anybody and I now say that so long as she is the only one to find it out I am satisfied. I will convict her of having it and she takes everything now in good part. She had an unfair and I should say unhandsome letter from her brother Lord B this morning - she is soft about it I joke and say I shall be the means of getting her, own either for my own good or somebody's, and she only laughs. I make up my mind for Mariana every now and then. And then I waiver. What would she say if she knew the real state of my mind? - had just written the above of today at 6 ½ - Miss H- not well today - bad cold, a little sore throat - coughs a little - a little headache - not strong upon her legs when out tired on coming in - she ought to have gone to a warm climate - sadly managed that she did not go to Naples - dinner at 7 in ½ hour then music - tea at 9 from 10:10 in an hour read from page 301 to 344 volume 1 Gibbon

In the margin: "Mixed magnesia - two small teaspoons - up with the juice of small lemon for Miss H and came to my room at 11 ¾ - fine day - very windy & very high wind tonight - F57° now at 12 ¾ tonight" (7-Nov-1831).

"Took 2 teaspoonfuls (about ½ ounce) Epsom salts in warm water before getting into bed last night - Operated before eight but got into bed again. Twice more after getting up and once at two and three-quarters just after having incurred a cross from looking in vain all over Jeremiah, Ezekiel and Isaiah for that passage about the Dea Syria and virgins sitting waiting in her temple, which passage I had alluded to Miss H  Down to breakfast at 11 ¼ but not breakfast till 10:40[sic] - came to my room after just looking at the Globe at about 12 ½ - stood looking over Jeremiah Ezekiel & Isaiah till 2 ½ - at my desk at 3 - Miss H came up to talk about her answer to her brother - from 3:20 to 4:25 wrote 3 pages & ends & under seal to M- grieved & annoyed she was disappointed about not hearing from me - the oftener she wrote the better & I would always answer her letters in a post or 2 - there is a house at St Leonard's might suit you - do not know the rent per month - might be had for 2 years for £660 - but do not think either she of Mr L[awton] would like the place the air too moist & relaxing & rheumatic - I should be glad to get away as soon as I could after the 1st of April till which time we taken an apartment at 5 guineas a week - I should choose Boulogne - they would probably be more in my way there than anywhere else - I made a point of walking every morning before breakfast & get onto the hills or should not be ½ as well here as at Shibden whose health breathing gales I always remembered with pleasure - delighted at the improved account of herself & her being more comfortable than when I saw her last - wrote the following to Mr Lambert - 'If Mr Lambert had still got the old chased silver coffee pot that would hold about a pint (price nine guineas) - that Miss Lister saw at his shop, in passing, on Monday the 24th inst., she would be glad to have it sent off as immediately as possible after Strongitharm has put her arms upon it, in the same manner as he did up the teapot - the parcel to be directed to Miss Lister, 15 Pelham Crescent, Hastings - on the receipt of it, the money will be paid, as before, if Mr lambert wishes it - Hastings Tuesday 8 November 1831.' Sent off at 6 this letter "pre-paid" to 'Messrs Lambert & Rawlings, 11 & 12 Coventry Street, London' and my letter to 'Mrs Lawton, Lawton Hall, Lawton, Cheshire' - dinner at 7 in ½ hour - broke my thermometer the one I bought here after breaking my Marseilles one - Miss H-'s so[sic] cold so bad she wrote a note to Mr Duke to beg him to come this evening - he not at home but Mr William Duke came before 8 - found his patient tolerable - sends 2 antimonial pills for tonight - an aperient draught for the morning, & a gargle for the throat. Speaking of prudery Miss H said hers did not extend to medical men. 'I am glad of it,' said I, knew not how far it might go. 'Oh no,' said she, 'my prudery is complicated stuff' in a manner that applied a little to her prudery with me. She gets more affectionate. Speaking of the way in which she told me at the lodge not to go into her bedroom, she said she was sorry she had not done it more gently. We get on very well. Speaking of Lady Gordon[31] and Mariana and Charles dying, Miss H said 'and I shall be on the pavee and you will have your three friends on you at once.' Well then, I shall take the one I like best. I can have her. From which she would understand by my manner I meant herself. She invited me into her room tonight but I merely staid a moment looking at her medicines  Miss H- feeling her room below very cold & sunless I would have come upstairs , & had all arranged for her taking my bedroom & there she is tonight for the first time - Did not read Gibbon aloud tonight, for felt my throat a little risky - fine day - apparently windy as usual - had tea at 9 as usual - music before & after - very cozy comfortable evening - came upstairs at 11:25 - wrote all but the first 7 lines of today till 12 2/4 - writing copy of letter for Miss H to her brother Lord B till two and a half" (8-Nov-1831).

"Arranging my room - down to breakfast at 11:35 - read the Globe till 1:40 - very fine day - beautifully smooth water studded with vessels in the offing - out at 2 - bought inkstand for my room & thermometer etc. inquired about work-table & hassock for Miss H- ordered bonnet basket to be lined with green Holland complete at 12/. - went to the nursery garden a little way out of the town - looked at lodgings there - guinea & ½ a week for sitting room & bedroom and as much more for board - then looked at much better concern 115 High Street better room upstairs & bedroom adjoining at 25/. a week & board as much more - would do well enough for Mr Frederick Brown,[32] Lady Kilmaine[33]'s son - got smelling bottle & salts for Miss H- at Balker's & home at 4:20 - corrected what she had altered of my letter for her to her brother Lord B - dressed - dinner at 6 ½ in 40 minutes - Mr Duke, an attentive nice enough civil apothecary & surgeon, called to see Miss H at 8 - played a game at chess, one first together - tea at 9 - read in about one hour from 10:10 from page 344 to 384 chapter 9 volume 1 8vo [octavo] Gibbon - came to my room at 11 ½ - Miss H sent this evening her letter to Lord Bucks. She had altered what I wrote for her last night till she had in fact given up the point of getting anything. But I persuade her back again to her purpose and she concludes with gently saying she thinks it will best for her to act upon Lord B's own suggestion and leave the matter for her solicitor to settle with his - very fine day - F57° in my bedroom now at 12:10 tonight" (9-Nov-1831).

"F62° & very fine sunny frosty morning now at 8 ½ at which hour went out - walked along the Winchester road to the finger post directing to Pett[34] - home at 10:55 - breakfast at 11 ¼ in ¾ hour - read the Globe - came upstairs at 1 - wrote in a hour 3 pages to my aunt - Mr Duke came - saw him at 2:10 for 10 minutes - Miss H- will require very great care, but he hopes no harm needs be feared from the cold, bad as it is, she has now got - it is a mere common catarrhal affliction - staid down talking to her till came upstairs at 3:35 & filled the ends & under the seal & finished my letter to my aunt - hoped she had not thought me long in writing - arrived here on Saturday Sunday no [post?] day - Monday & Tuesday busy settling ourselves tho' say afterwards, wrote a few hurried lines to M- on that day, knowing she would otherwise be uneasy as my aunt would not think of telling her the news she had from me at St. Leonard's - yesterday slipped away I scarce know how - really very comfortable here now - 'I have thrown all the cares of housekeeping on Miss H- who really manages very nicely - far better than I should have done - and all, so far, promises to go on well' - She like all the rest of us had got a cold - 'Between ourselves, I can't imaging why delicate persons are sent here - the airiness of the houses may do well enough for the summer, but is sadly cold-giving now - there are drafts in all directions - Paris doors & windows shut much better than these - Luckily, we are much less exposed than we were at St. Leonards, or the strong southwest winds which have blown almost incessantly, with as many rainy days as fine, which since our arrival, - might have turned a mill, & ground our corn at our fireside - we are sheltered here by an enormous, perpendicular, sandrock cliff close behind us, and circling round a little on each side, so as to keep off all winds but due south - we are even closer upon the lea than at St. L-; yet, they say, shall not be so incommoded with the spray in winter - In fact, after all, Hastings is well and picturesquely situated, is a nice little town, & might be a comfortable residence, were it possible to get a well-built, air-tight house, & dry the atmosphere a little' - mentioned having taken our apartment till first April - the box containing all I expected - Miss H- liked the parking - walk for a couple of hours before breakfast - breakfast at 11 or 11 ¼ - dine at 6 ½ or 7 - do stay a minute in the dining room after dinner - then music - tea at 9, & go to bed about 11 ½ - our 2 bedrooms over our drawing room & dining room with 'no inconvenience but that of being perched at the height of 4 flights of stairs from the kitchen - we have soup, one dish of meat, 3 dishes of vegetables, & a pudding or tart every day, and are so far, from first to last of us, very harmonious & agreeable' - must begin & stick to my writing soon - it will be a great comfort to me to hear a good account of her - ask for news - told M- neither she nor Mr L- would like Hastings - gave my letter for the post at 4:35 to 'Mrs Lister Shibden Hall, Halifax, Yorkshire' - had just done the above of today at 4 ½ read from page 208 to 254 De la Beche's geology till 5:50 - prepared for dinner - lost a hit at backgammon before dinner & won & lost one after - Dinner at 7 in 40 minutes - music immediately afterwards at 9 - after backgammon my cold too bad to read aloud sat talking - came upstairs at 11 ¾ - Just before speaking on the drafts of air and her bad cold and mine she said she had already come round to my opinion about Hastings. I said I hardly forgave Mr Freeman, but he told me he did not like the responsibility. In fact everybody thought she had some other reason for wishing to be in England this winter than merely on Lady S[tuart]'s account. I really meant no allusion to annoy her (that is pumping or glancing at Captain Cameron - that is Lochiel - I never thought of him). She fancied otherwise and began getting into her annoyed way and then I tired of all this nonsense, pulled up into dignity and shewed by my manner that I too was annoyed. And thus I left her in her own room without staying a minute. I think she felt sorry. It will do her good if she did. My patience on this silly fancying of hers is now exhausted - fine day but very foggy in the afternoon from about 12 - F56° now at 12 ¼ tonight" (10-Nov-1831).

"F56° & fine morning now at 10:40 - downstairs at 11 - breakfast at 11:20 read the paper till 1:10 - went out at 1:50 - went first time to Wooll's 5 High Street bought map of the town etc., & sat reading a Hastings guide in letters[?] & looking at views of H- & the neighbourhood 1 ½ hour - got no further than the end of the street by All Saints Street - the portable water closet hired till 1 April would be 3/. a week - the little work table for Miss H- 1/. a week - not worth this - left thermometer at Cohen's to have new tube put to it! impossible? Went to the printer about marking stamping the table linen etc. & left him the permanent ink to be mixed up with printing ink to try if that would do - went to the shop in the bazaar about a box for Miss H- instead of a work table - home at 4 ¾ - sat talking - dressed - dinner at 7 in ¾ hour - music for an hour - tea at 9 - read aloud from page 304 to 412 chapter 10 volume 1 8vo [octavo] Gibbon - came upstairs at 11 ¾ - Miss H-'s cold tho' still bad better today - Mr Duke ill - his son Mr William Duke came - Miss H quite amiable today and so I was too - fine mild day - F60° now at 12:40 - Took one teaspoonful of Epsom salts on getting into bed" (11-Nov-1831).

"fine morning - F59° at 8 ¼ - out at 9:10 - walking slowly (always feel languid here) by Wellington & St Marys row till came into the London road at the first turnpike 1 mile from Hastings - bought footstool at Eaton's and some time at Woodmans about little table for Miss H- the woman would engage to pay me back ½ price at the end of the time I kept the table or, if not much abused, 20/. out of the 35/. - home at 11:10 breakfast immediately in an hour - skimmed over the paper - out again at 2 for near a couple of hours to make little shoppings - some time at Wooll's bookseller looking over Bohn's (Bone's) catalogue[35] - he is the best man in London for old books - home a bit before 4 for ½ hour & then to the printer - stood by while in ¾ hour he stamped all the table & other linen bought for here - dressed - dinner at 6 ¾ - music at 7 ¾ for an hour - Letter this morning from Messrs Lambert & Rawlings 11 & 12 Coventry Street London saying that the coffee pot was sent out (received it yesterday evening) - bill 9.9.0 + 3/. for engraving arms - tea at 9 - from 10 ½ to 11:20 read from page 412 to 456 end of chapter X and volume 1 Gibbon - fine day - F61° at 12:20 tonight - sleepy all the evening - In playing Miss H said I ought to like one of her tunes - it must remind me of Brussels. Said I, 'It was there I so offended you.' 'No, it was not,' said she. 'Then where and how was it?' I inquired. 'It is not worth remembering,' said she rather angrily. I took no notice but dozed a little, merely saying when she said I had been out four hours, enough to make me sleepy. No, it was not that it was she herself who had made me, and neither of us said more about it. [3 letters crossed out, assume V]ere good humoured enough but dull - came up to my room at 11:50 i.e. ¼ hour after Miss H-" (12-Nov-1831).

"No motion at all this morning and very little [yesterday?] morning in spite of the half dose of salts on Friday night. I fear my bowels will be all wrong here  breakfast ordered at 9 ½ - overslept myself but down at breakfast in ¾ hour at 9:35 - read the Globe - about 1 read aloud morning prayers (excluding the communion service) to Miss H- she preferring not having the servants. Then talking over another odd letter from her brother Lord B when Mrs & Miss Courtenay called on Miss H- well enough good sort of people knowing nobody here. She Miss May's sister and shook hands with me on going away so I then shook hands with the daughter, not haut tonhigh society but the papa one of the Courtenays. And then more talk about the letter. Huffy again. Advise her to consult Lady S[tuart] de Rothesay.[36] Don't like her acting without other advice than mine. Why not send copies of all the letters that have passed on the subject to Lady S[tuart] to be shewn to Lady S de R and then to Mr Sullivan[37] as having been guardian - All very comfortable this morning but luckily [for?] my heart she has not the art or perhaps the wish to touch very deeply so I am and shall be comfortable enough. I am more concerned about the state of my bowels and the consequent state of feverishness I am in - Feverish & not quite well this morning - the soft damp relaxing air does not do for me - my digestion too torpid - came upstairs at 2:25 - read a few pages of Beechey's voyage to the Pacific & Beerings Straits[38] and then wrote so far of today & the following to go this evening - 'Gentlemen, I shall be much obliged to you to pay to Messrs lambert & Rawlings the sum of nine pounds twelve shillings - I am, gentlemen, etc, etc. A Lister - Messrs Hammersleys & Co. 13 November 1831' - 'Miss Lister has received the coffee pot, & the letter, & bill of Messrs Lambert & Rawlings, amounting to £9.12.0, & has given the above order on Messrs Hammererleys & Co. for the amount which, she has no doubt, will immediately be discharged - 13 November 1831.' - Had just done the above at 3:50 - from then to 6, looking over & arranging papers & accounts ready for beginning with the latter - at 6 ¼ sent off my letter to 'Messrs Lambert & Rawlings goldsmiths etc, etc. 11 & 12 Coventry Street London' prepared for dinner & went downstairs at 6 ¾ at which hour F58° in my room - Dinner at 6:50 - music for an hour - tea at 9 - read 10 or 12 pages of Beechey - Having first talked of Coll and the MacLeans; the debt on the estate I told her was forty thousand pounds; that Sibbella had often wanted the decent comforts of life; her illness brought on by fretting  Miss H- read a little German to me - Were going to bed at eleven but somehow began laughing and playing. She would never forgive me if I carried her upstairs, would rather George did it than I. Then said when I expressed my wonder that he would not let her fall she never saw any woman like me. Often tells me of my oddity. The fact is she sometimes feels oddish herself about it - Came upstairs at 11 ¾ - wrote the last 7 ½ lines - F66° this evening downstairs & 62½° now at one in my room - fine day - sat up pulling out the remainder of decayed tooth far end left top jaw" (13-Nov-1831).

"very fine frosty sunny morning F54½° now at 8:20 a.m. - went out at 9 - walked slowly looking at Pelham baths[39] - very comfortable - thinking of subscribing - along All Saints Street past Wickham row some distance beyond the second large white turnpike like but private gate - home at 11:20 - breakfast at 11:40 - in[?] good boiled milk - first time since being here - perhaps the tea I have breakfasted on so long, does not agree with my bowels - came upstairs at 12 ½ - from 12 ¾ to 6:25 at private account & made out from 1 June to 16 August inclusive - dressed - dinner at 7 in ¾ hour - music from 7:50 to 8:50 - Coffee first time since [illeg] at 9 ¼ - ¾ hours talking anatomy - Told her of my having Mr Juliart and of my dissecting. She really seeming interested about it and not sorry to find I had never named it even to Mariana. She said, as if thoughtlessly, 'What pleasure you will have sometime in dissecting me.' I merely said 'Oh no!' Even if I felt it a duty to have her opened I should not, could not, be there to see. None dissected those they had loved or had even much known but I took no further notice. I think the idea of being with me eventually is somehow getting more and more familiar to her mind. She really begins to flirt a little with me and looked very, very pretty when playing this evening. Well, strange things happen. She may like me after all - fine frosty cold day - F55° now at 12:20 tonight - came to my room at 12:05 - from 10:40 to 11:55 read aloud first 48 pages not quite the whole of chapter 11, volume 2. Gibbon's decline & fall" (14-Nov-1831).

"very fine frosty morning F58° at 8 ¼ a.m. Letter 3 pages ends & under seal from my aunt Shibden at 8 ½ - all well - rain almost every day sometimes with thunder & lightning. It seems Wilson, Mr Summett's son-in-law, went to Mr Lewis Alexander on receiving my note about the brook, who said 'that a prosecution could not be supported for the water in the brook was spoilt by the dye-water, that he had put fish in the brook, which were killed by it.' Till 10 wrote 1 ½ page to my aunt - then breakfast (at 10) - out at 12 ¼ - bought a pair tall candlesticks in George Street & then walked by High Street & Wickham row to the farmhouse where one could breakfast near the fish ponds - got there [a] little girl as guide & went to the fish ponds just below the farmhouse (2 little dammed up duck ponds in a pretty wooded hollow) then to the dripping well a mere nothing, in a pretty wooded dell - then down the pretty wooded undercliff to Covehurst Cottage[40] belonging to Mr Planta[41] where his gardener lives & close to where is his bathing machine shed - then up the hill to the lover's seat[42] (fine rocky shelf overlooking the wooded undercliff & sea) - surely I saw the French coast & perhaps the smoke of Boulogne? but the French coast I certainly saw for a few minutes but could not catch it afterwards from the little solitary Fairlight church then walked along the Fairlight glen very pretty wooded with good wide road along each side of it down to the sea - near the top on the opposite side went down to see another dripping well,[43] and then passed Fairlight Place,[44] the house of Mr Planta (the house I walked to the other morning) walked straight up thro' the white turnpike-like gate into the Fairlight church road - sent home my little guide & walked to the church (Fairlight)[45] & a ¼ hour farther on - very pretty there - walked along a sort of shrubbery walk by the roadside - fine sea view - 7 martello towers defend Pitt level - see Rye in the distance - returned at 4:10 came out into the London road beyond the turnpike - then direct home by High Street when it began to rain pretty smartly so that before I got home (stopt to pay for the candlesticks ) I was a little wet - came in at 4:20 - dressed in ½ hour - then came & sat talking to Miss H- till near dinner - dinner at 7 in ¾ hour - ½ hour's music - coffee at 8 ¾ - won 2 hits at backgammon - from 10:20 to 11:40 read aloud the 8 or 9 last pages chapter xi & the whole of chapter xii. i.e. from page 48 to 112 volume 2 Gibbon - Miss H- left me at 11:50 & I sat downstairs and wrote the above of today till 12 ¼ - fine day till between 3 & 4 when it began to thicken a little - smartish rain about 4 for about ½ hour - F62½° downstairs now at 12:20 - went up to bed at 12:25" (15-Nov-1831).

"In the last twenty five minutes before getting up incurred a cross thinking of Miss H - F50½ at 9 ½ & fine frosty sunny morning - breakfast at 10:00 came upstairs at 11:40 - out at 11:55 - walked along the footpath past Bohemia Lodge[46] into the private road from St Leonard's in 1:12 hour & thence by the direct London road (marked 4 miles to Hastings, & to our house about 4 ½ miles) in 1:10 hour home & came in at 2:17 - enjoyed my walk & the thought I could get on so easily at this good rate - staid talking to Miss H- (returned to go out with her - but the apothecary, Mr Duke, thought it too cold for her) & came to my room at 4 - It seems she likes me to come in in the middle of the day but not to stay too long with her or I might have dawdled with her longer. I think she had been rather low, for she said it sometimes came across her if she was gone (dead) it would be no matter. People would soon forget her except Lady S and myself. I combatted all this, it would come better from me than her. In talking on she said nobody thought of her as I did. Nobody really knew her or they might like her a little. Speaking of marriage she said "I do not wish I was married but I wish I had been. In one case I ought to have been more firm; in another perhaps less so." I said she alone could be the judge. (She alluded to Algernon Bouverie and Henry Yorke.) She had fewer acquaintances than other girls of her standing yet had more than Lady Stuart had. Her opportunities of marrying got worse every year. Nobody took such a fancy to her as I did. Mine was 'an unaccountable phrenzy'. She never will let me call her cold. She says I only judge from her manners to me and that is not fair - I never saw her in society. I said I would marry directly if I was Duke of Wellington, and when she found it was to herself she coloured but said that was very presuming. She would not marry the Duke of Wellington and not the D[uke] of Devonshire for he was the greatest match in England and she would not be set on a pinnacle. She would not like to live always in London or always in the country; should like to do as she had been accustomed and that would require fortune. We have joked about going to Salona - she said that was too far. If she was not dead her friends would want to see her sometimes. The fact is I am not enough in her own society. She will be dull this winter for I can bring no society. She will not suit me. She cannot like me well enough to satisfy me and I have not money enough for her  Came to my room at 4 - till 5:25 wrote the latter ½ page 2 & page 3 & ends & under seal and finished my letter begun yesterday to my aunt - answered all in her letter - all the same to me whether the mill is done sooner or later (talked of waiting till spring for all but the dam enlarging) if George R- is satisfied - say I told her all about the gig at the time & 'the man had the offer of taking it at the price he said it was worth, £12, allowing one pound for his own trouble, consequently, as I supposed, that the man did not think fit to take the gig even on those terms - John[?] had better let him know this from me, & say, that, if it was really his intention to take it, I think he did not behave handsomely in not saying so (and he did not say so to me, on the contrary, I understood him to decline it - and I only made the offer to get the money at the moment & having done with it) and say that I think he did not behave handsomely in not sending the money on the Saturday - in consequence of which you have had much trouble about selling the thing - but to end the matter, I think you had better tell him, he must either send you the money or the gig immediately - that is, eleven pounds & I will pay one pound to George - this perhaps will, after all, be the best ending that can come of it - I am only sorry that you have had the least annoyance about it - the thing itself is really not worth much more than £11 as times go' - then dated my letter today, saying I was interrupted yesterday then too late for the post - 'I was just going to notice what you tell me about the water in the brook being so spoilt already, that Mr Lewis Alexander is of opinion people may with impunity spoil it as much as they please - If this be really the case, the thing must take its chance - we must see about it when the time comes' nothing more of any importance, hope she 'will not be very long in writing - their letters always interest & amuse me exceedingly' - had just done the above of today at 6:25 - gave my letter for the post at 6 ½ to 'Mrs Lister Shibden Hall Halifax Yorkshire' Dinner at 5 in 1:05 hour - then played & won one hit at backgammon then a little music - then coffee at 9 - then in about ¾ hour (till 10 ¼) read aloud from page 112 to 143 chapter 13 volume 2 Gibbon - could not do more on account of my throat rather strained by so much reading last night - then talked over our housekeeping bills - 63 13/1663lb 13oz pounds of butcher's meat & 2 fowls in 8 days - pretty well for only ourselves (Miss H- eats very little meat & I none) & our 2 maids & George! - yet Cameron declared it was all eaten - came up to my room at 12 ¼ at which hour F54½ - fine frosty windy day - sat up till 1:05 calculating about the consumption of meat" (16-Nov-1831).

"fine frosty sunny morning & F49½ at 9 - nice long letter 3 pages & ends from Lady S[tuart] de R[othesay] very agreeable chitchat - the whole library from Tooley Street in eighty cases arrived at Poole - they are all to be at the Lodge on Saturday to stay a week - weather variable & lately very cold - breakfast at 10 - read the Globe - walked with Miss H- to the end of King Street then up & down the parade from 11 ¾ to 12:40 first time she had been out since her cold - out again at 1:20 walked along the Rye road as far as Guestling to the little public house William IV and returned the same way - I should think altogether about 6 miles[47] - but in going & in returning did 2 or 3 little shoppings - came in at 4 ¼ - ten minutes downstairs with Miss H- from 4 ¾ to 6 ½ made out rough draft of index of the month of March last - dressed - dinner at 7 - Miss H- wrote and asked some of the Courtenays to come to us this evening - but they were engaged - In walking this morning on the parade we met the ladies Scott[48] - first time of seeing them - Miss H introduced me and all were very civil - A little music after dinner as usual - coffee at 9 - from 9:40 to 10 ¾ read aloud from page 143 to 185 and of chapter 13 volume 2 Gibbon - then staid talking till Miss H- went up to her room at 11 ½ & she left me to finish my journal of today - I had been in good spirits after dinner which she rather cheeked so I shut my eyes and dozed while she played and was very quiet afterwards. Just before going to bed she took from the bosom of her gown? a paper containing three little curls of her hair saying somehow or other while she shewed and held them out to me she did not want them. I took the paper, put it into the breast of my gown saying you will never see these again in the form you do now. 'I only hope I have not cheated you out of them?' 'No' was the answer and she wished goodnight and kissed my cheek very gently saying as she left the room 'You never kiss me.' 'No,' said I, 'because if I did you would never forgive me to the edge of doom.' 'I think,' said she, 'you need not say so when I set the example.' I merely looked significantly. She is od[d] enough but surely she must like me or she never could have gone a step so far. Just before had said how independent any rational pursuit made one of society, tho' I had sometimes thought I should not dislike a London life; she thought it would not suit me. Oh yes it would in my way if I had Lady Gordon to manage for me. I should not go to many parties except occasionally for half hour. It would be small, pleasant dinner parties I should like. 'Oh yes,' said she directly, 'dinner parties once a week and you with your good fortune would soon have plenty of society and then I (meaning herself) would have a party of about thirty afterwards. You might go to bed or do as you liked.' Oh, thought I, then supposing my fortune to be good enough I may have you and good London society too if I like. I do not expect all this quite so soon if at all. I see I may presume if I like to give as well as take a kiss and may perhaps conquer all scruples even in this case. Well, I did not expect a victory here. I will fight shy a little. I read her my letter from Lady S de R this morning; she said it was a nice letter and seemed pleased. I think she is glad of my being liked by her friend - very fine frosty day - F75½ at 12 ¼ on the marble chimney piece in this room (drawing room) went up to my room at [blank] Poor Mariana. I begin to tremble for her chance unless she plays her cards better than she seems likely to do - F51° now at 12 ¾ tonight in the bedroom" (17-Nov-1831).

"fine sunny frosty morning F48° at 9¾ a.m. breakfast at 10 just skimmed the paper - came upstairs at 11:35 at my private accounts - walked with Miss H- up & down the parade from 12 ½ to 1 ½ - then sat with her 20 minutes - rubbing her hands - she behaving more good-humouredly about it than usual - in fact she seems coming round a little - out again at 2 ¼ - walked as on Wednesday past Bohemia Lodge into the St Leonard's road to the private turnpike in 1:30 hours - 5 minutes from there to the 4 mile stone to Hastings, & then to Wooll's the bookseller[49] in 1:20 hour - to inquire for profile taker - Wright in George Street is the man, but, is going away in a few days - then bought sea biscuits for Miss H- & muffetees & burnt almonds (pralines) at 3d an ounce for Miss H- & came in at 4:50 - sat with Miss H- an hour - she had had Mrs Courtenay sitting with her an hour - flirting, Miss H taking it better than usual but still saying I wanted extremes and she could only be in them for things of no importance, so doubting again whether she ever could or would like me well enough to satisfy me and came upstairs gratified, tho' neither uncomfortable nor caring much came upstairs at 5:50 dressed found my cousin coming gently; should not have come till Monday - Dinner at 7 - Proposed this morning my breakfast alone in my own room, but Miss H- tho' owned it would be a saving of time to us both, would not consent - a little music - lost a hit at backgammon coffee at 9 - from 10:20 to 11:35 read aloud from page 185 chapter 14 to page 219 volume 1 Gibbon - came upstairs at 12 - Fire in my room tonight first time - kissed her forehead twice and she made no objection but gets gradually more accustomed to me  very fine frosty day - F54° now at one tonight" (18-Nov-1831).

"Great deal of rain beating against the window just before light this morning - fine morning & F52° now at 9:40 - breakfast at 10 - came upstairs at 11 no newspaper come this morning - out at 11 - walked to a little beyond the 3 mile stone on the London road & back the same way & came in at 1:25 - then from 1 ¾ to 2:40 walked with Miss H- along High Street and as far as the nursery gardens & back - "five minutes with her in her room and then came to mine - was just going to begin my accounts when Mr Wright a vulgar ignorant artist came to take a whole length black shade of Miss H- vilely ill done - not the least bit like - price 5/. - staid downstairs till 5 ¾ - then dressed - Dinner at 7 - a little very little music - coffee - had just lost a gammon at backgammon as Mr & Mrs George & Miss Courtenay came to tea at 8 ¾ & staid till 11 - the old man stupidish the young one pertish. Thinks Miss H and the girl prettyish but nothing particular  Sat up talking to Miss H- till came to my room at 12:10 - then sat up till 1 ¾ reading over & writing out & marking out from Lempriere & Gibbon the Roman empire down to Constantine - fine day - windy but not frost - some degrees warmer than yesterday out of doors - F57° on coming to my room at 12:10 & the same now at 1 ¾ tonight" (19-Nov-1831).

"Washing drawers so not ready till ten  fine frosty morning F53° at 10 - breakfast at 10:10 - read the paper - at 12:10 read aloud (with Miss H- reading the lessons & responses) the short morning service in 25 minutes - came to my room at 1 ¼ - very much cousin washing and putting on fresh paper - read a few pages of Beechey - from 2:20 to 3 walked with Miss H- on the marine parade - then we both went to church - one clergyman did all the duty & preached dully for 28 minutes from 1 Corinthians xv.22 - home at 4 ½ - sat talking till after 6 - about the de Hagemanns, Miss H's escape of Augustus Sullivan[50] and her flirting with his cousin Arthur S, till the latter became too seriou[s]. Spoke of my thinks[sic] as a child, always some model of perfection in them, but not a man - dressed and washed and changed again as above - dinner at 7:10 sat talking till coffee at 9:25 - then a little music - from 11 to 12 Miss H- wrote to her sister Madame de H[agemann] & I read 40 pages Beechey's voyage to Beering's Straits etc. & got to page 124 - Told Miss H while at the piano that as to our talk of Salona it was a façon de parlerway of speaking for other things, meaning living together. But as to going to Naples, it was within the pale of possibility that I could not go, that I could but do one of two things. She could not understand this, if not on account of my father. I said perhaps I should tell before the first of April - I meant that perhaps before next winter I must decide whether to take Mariana or give her up. Before coffee Miss H talk[ed] more than usu(s)al of herself and Charles Stuart,[51] thinks his serious love gone off by this time. Perhaps if not she may be won over spite of her objection of his [being] seven years younger and bein[g] her cousin.| - fine day - rather windy - rain late in the evening - F58° now at 12 ¾ tonight - fire in my room since noon" (20-Nov-1831).

"F56½° & finish soft morning at 9 ½ - seems to have been a great deal of rain in the night - read a few pages of Beechey - breakfast at 10 ¼ - out at 11:50 walked to the 4 mile stone on the Battle road & back - did 2 or 3 shoppings & came in at 3:25 - walked leisurely yet at the rate of a mile in 18 minutes - muggy windy disagreeable day threatening more rain - till four and twenty five minutes very stupid and long about it wrote 3 pages & much under seal of ½ sheet to 'Mme. Madame de Hagermann' to go with Miss H-'s letter under cover to our chargé d'affaires at Copenhagen - Kind letter - said I had nothing new to tell, Vere had anticipated me but would not let her send her letter without my adding some weight to what she had written - besides she (Madame de H-) would be glad to hear I really thought we were going on very well - no uncomfortable symptoms just now - hoped we should have a favourable winter - these cold ill-built houses not calculated for severe weather - would say nothing of out of doors, but persuaded Madame de H- would be warmer in doors at Copenhagen than we should here, tho' told we have one of the most comfortable houses Hastings affords - I had nothing to do but enjoy myself - Vere takes all the trouble & does it beautifully - what a pity such a gulph between us or what nice evenings we (Madame de H- & we) should have! but no gaieties - live in a degree of quiet comfortable wholesomeness that cannot fail to do good to us both - expect Lady S[tuart] by & by - It is great fun & delight to think how to shew off our excellence of housekeeping - Madame de H- ought to write to congratulate us - I myself & to myself deserve a no.abbreviation? at least as large as those I used to have in Paris - she will do no good by attempting to forget me - promised me hospitalities[?] at Copenhagen & the call for the fulfilment of her promise may come in an hour when she thinks not - hope she 'will remember me to Monsieur de H-, give my love to the children, & believe me always affectionately yours AL' had just written the above at 5 ¾ - then went downstairs & staid till 6:20 - dressed - dined at 7 in an hour - a little music coffee at 8 ¾ - won one & lost one hit at backgammon - from 10:40 to 11 ¾ read aloud from page 218 to 267 and of chapter 14 & 2 ½ pages chapter 15 Gibbon volume 2 - came upstairs at 12 - Damp, mild, windy, disagreeable day - F64° in my room with a fire now at 12 ¾ tonight - calculating butcher's bill and seeing the weekly averag(a)e consumption of meat in Paris [illeg] for my aunt and myself and Macdonald and George, including weight of sausages once a week, never so much as fifteen pounds, and here Cameron thinks less cannot do than twenty-one pounds a week for only hersel[f] and Norbury and George, exclusive of Miss H and soup - from Saturday 5 to tonight 21 November inclusive we have consumed 105 pounds 11 ounces of meat including 27 pounds 1 ounce meat for soup - i.e. 6 pounds 2 + 15/17 ounces per day - meat at 7d altogether would = 61/9 but the 2 bills only come to £2.18s.5d or £0.3s.5 4/17d per day[52] - then out of the 17 days Miss H- dined 4 days on 2 fowls & 5 or 6 days on fish, & I eat no meat at all, except what I take to make the soup" (21-Nov-1831).

"Great deal of rain in the night - fine soft damp morning & F60° at 9:50 - breakfast at 10 ¼ - came to my room at 11 - changed my dress  put on old merinos and plaid cloak  Out at 11:25 - five minutes at the biscuit shop - walked to the 3 mile stone on the London road & back at 1 ½ - just peeped in to tell Miss H- she could not possibly go out for small rain sleet & wind (small rain & high wind all the while I was out & very disagreeable & fatiguing walking) changed my dress (rather wet) & at my desk at 2 - Letter before breakfast from M[ariana] Lawton, 3 pages & one end - dated 17th says they had been at home 12 days (that they probably arrived on the 5th) the 2nd 3rd & 4th of which she had been in bed & had written to nobody but a few lines the day before to her mother - she had been very unwell ever since her return & the Ackers unexpectedly arrived an hour after they themselves did - they had not had one day alone. 'Charles I think appears much better than he was, & everybody says he looks much more healthy than when he was last in Cheshire - I think myself he is a good deal better.' She would be thankful if he could find amusement for himself for a country life suits him best in the midst of her people doing good - had heard from Mrs John Crewe[53] that good houses are to be had at Boulogne but her heart sinks within her at crossing the water again, tired of change - 'I begin to feel that with my own good will I should never move again' - young John Lawton much reduced by typhus fever - might see as much of the Wilbrahams as she pleased - but they are to leave L[awton] in a month or 6 weeks - wrote the above of today from 2:25 to 5 ½ (asleep near an hour & Miss H_ came to me for 10 minutes & I went down to her for as long) wrote 3 pages & ends small & close to M- thought her letter 'long, fearfully long delayed - this is the 17th day that I had already counted being without hearing from you - . . . . . . I grieve to hear of their having been so unwell - this made me very uneasy; & now that I see it is quite in vain to hope that you will write to me at all after [illeg], during my fixed residence in England. we had best return to the old day, that I may at least count upon intelligence with more certainty - if you send your letters off from Lawton on Saturday, I shall get them on the following Tuesday morning - and if I answer you on the following Thursday mine will reach you on the Monday - Do think about this - Ill or well, let me see your handwriting. I know you will be very busy - but ½ a dozen lines will always content me, so that you have really no excuse - not even being in your bed will excuse you - for, if you are too ill to write, I am in bed but hope to be better in a day or two, - it is high time for Watson to write & tell me how you are - you must reassure me on this point, or I shall be uneasy & unhappy about you' - do not count so much as she & her Cheshire friends seem to do on the great improvement in C[harles]'s health - shall be glad to hear of them being settled somewhere - but her own health will be better & her spirits lighter by & by, & then her tastes will be less stay-at-home than now, and then she will have no fear of crossing from Dover to Calais - should turn her thoughts into the channel she likes best - expect they will have a house at Cheltenham after all on or about Christmas - Miss H- better I very well = we have much rain and wind in the nights & wind & some rain in the day - may get accustomed to the climate & then should have no objection to Sussex - it is certainly a fine county & I should not perhaps find living dear if regularly settled near here - mention thinking our 105 pounds 11 ounces including 27 pounds 1 ounce meat for soup, a large consumption - explain Miss H-'s dining 7 of the days on poultry or fish & my continuing to eat no meat - ask the Lawton consumption - say 'our housekeeping bills for the 17 days are upwards I believe of £15, tho' we brought wax candles, tea & coffee, sweet meats, cheese & a host of [illeg], & wine & spirits & ale from London' - not sorry to have no coachman & horses, & glad to have brought George 'he has so far done very well & is far the most efficient person we have - we often talk of you & say what order you would put us into 'if you were here' but we do very well - 'have everything neat & nice' - mention the coffee pot at 9 guineas - certainly not dear - Ask if she can spare me Eustace - 'If you can, do send it me from the nearest point you are likely to be at from London - if not, I shall buy it' - What shall I do with her bracelet? the tortoise shell - to write to my aunt as soon as she can - 'Surely you will get this letter on Friday - I shall count on hearing from you next week' - wrote the above of today & sent off my letter at 6:10 to 'Mrs Lawton Lawton Hall Cheshire' Dinner at 6:35 in an hour - a little music - coffee at 8 ½ - won a gammon & lost a hit at backgammon - from 10 ½ to 11:50 read aloud from page 267 to 320 chapter 15 volume 2, 8vo [octavo] Gibbon - came to my room at 12 at which hour F67° downstairs & the same ¼ hour after in my room - some rain & high wind & thickish warm muggy disagreeable day".

In the margin: "Miss H- had a letter & account of debt for £3.13-" (22-Nov-1831).

"fine mild morning F62° at 9 ½ - breakfast at 10 - staid downstairs till 11 ¾ talking over her letters of yesterday from her uncle-in-law Mr Sullivan and her brother Lord B[uckinghamshire] about her affairs. She read me too part of Mr Charles Stuart's letter received this morning in which he says when he gets back to London he shall not be able to stir again and it will be a bore not to see her till spring - so we shall not have him here which is very well for me. Out at 12:20 walked to the 4 mile stone on the London road (wind & mist & a little small rain all the way) & back at 2 ¾ - changed my dress & went downstairs at 3 ¼ & did not come up again to my room till 5:25  all that while talking of and correcting her letter to Mr Sullivan and writing her a whole new letter, tho' short, to her brother Lord B: her letter much too cross; the substance far too little; smoothly wrapt up - read from page 144 to 197 volume 1 Beechey - read over Miss H's letters before her sending  Dinner at 7 ¼ - a little music - coffee at 8 ½ - won 2 hits at backgammon & then lost a gammon - from 10:50 to 12:10 read aloud from page 320 to 384 and of chapter 15 volume 2 Gibbon - Came upstairs at 12 ¼ - damp high windy, muggy thick small rainy disagreeable day - F70° in the drawing room at 12:10 & 64° now at 1:10 tonight in my room - reading till 1, chapter 7, i.e. from page 197 to 227 Beechey volume 1" (23-Nov-1831).

"very fine sunny morning - F62½° at 8 ½ - down at 9 ¼ - breakfast immediately - have had boiled milk for the last 6 or 6 days - had cold milk for the first time, this morning - Miss H- came at 9 ¾ sat over breakfast & reading the newspaper till 10 ½ - so fine a morning out with Miss H- at 10 ¾ till 12 ¾ - walked to the end of the High street, then up All Saints churchyard & along the row of houses & to the top of East hill, and down into Eastbourne street then wound upwards & came out by a passage into High street - had before been at Wooll's the bookseller - went to the Pelham bazaar[54] in returning - Miss H- a little tired - she had been out double the usual time & done a great deal for her - from 1 to 1 ½ we called & sat with Mrs & 2 Miss Courtenays 12 York Buildings - Mr C- came in before we came away & a Miss Bignall was there almost all the time - on returning staid an hour dawdling and eating French plums and flirting with Miss H. Out again at 2:37 - walked to the 3 mile stone on the London Road & back at 4:35 - staid talking to Miss H- till 5 ¼ - sat by her as she lay with her feet up on the sofa, put one hand on her knee and rather higher without seeming aware of it, and she took it very quietly but was not, I think, quite insensible. After all, perhaps she will not dislike my playfulness so much by and by. Dressed - downstairs again at 5:50 - read from page 227 to 237 Beechey volume 1 8vo [octavo] - wrote the above of today - dinner at 7 - lost a hit at backgammon - a little music - coffee at 9 - from 9 ¾ to 11 ½ read aloud from 381 to 440 chapter 16 volume 1 8vo [octavo] Gibbon - came upstairs at 11:40 - till 12:50 read from page 237 to 313 beginning of chapter 10 Beechey volume 1 - very fine day - F65½° now at one tonight" (24-Nov-1831).

"fine morning F62° at 8 ½ breakfast at 9 ½ - Miss H- came at 9 ¾ - skimmed over the paper - out at 10:50 - walked ¼ mile beyond the 3 mile stone on the London road & back at 1 - changed my dress - out with Miss H- at 1:40 to 2:35 - walked along High Street to the end - then turned up the fields to the Croft - then behind the houses there & came out into George Street - left Miss H- at 2:35 at Lady Ann Scott's door no. 4 Pelham place - her first call on Lady Ann who has never yet found her way here, so I said nothing but that I should come home. Feeling somehow languid and feverish, bowels always wrong, no motion ever but a few buttons. Asleep for 10 minutes - went downstairs at 3 & sat talking to Miss H- till 4 - then till 5:20 wrote 3 pages & very much small & close under the seal of ½ sheet to Lady S[tuart] - should write often had I something to tell yet Vere did not tell much better - 'as it is, I am quite contented to put in my word only very occasionally to confirm all the good accounts - all traces of bad cold have been gone these ten days; & now that we are acclimatées, & broken in to slender houses, & draughts of air beating about in all directions, I trust we have nothing more to fear' - V[ere] fancied she got cold looking at houses for Lady James Stuart[55] - I said nothing but it would have been wonderful for the most delicate to escape what nobody else did & 'such sins of doors & windows as gave me not only cold but rheumatism - the air has been mild, except 2 or 3 days of sharp frost, sharper said Mr Dulle, than any day last winter, &, on the whole, we have had fine weather; but we have had a great deal of high wind which finds admission into the houses much too easily, & which always seems to me to blow everywhere but in the High Street - we have been out almost every day these last ten days and Vere is certainly looking better - when do you mean to come to us? I have begged her to entreat you to bring Mrs Rogers who can be quite well accommodated & would be invaluable to all' - Should have written a longer sheet to Lady S- herself & to Lady S[tuart] de R[othesay] had Mr Courtenay gone to London as we expected - 'I am sorry you have not had in time the copies of Vere's correspondence with her brother Lord B[uckinghamshire] - his manner of treating the subject was certainly not what I expected; and it grieved me exceedingly to see poor dear Vere so much hurt and annoyed - considering her income, & the large amount of the debt due to her, I am persuaded you will think her right in wishing to have the matter properly settled, & to have interest begun to be paid from the 16th of March next - It is a great delight to us to hear of your going on so well - Adieu, dear Lady Stuart, & believe me always very truly & affectionately yours A Lister' - had just written the above of today at 5:40 - at 5:50 took down my letter to the 'Honourable Lady Stuart' to Miss H- to be enclosed with hers - read from page 313 to 341 Beechey and till six and forty minutes incurred a cross sitting on my chair - it somehow came suddenly not thinking particularly of anyone till lastly of Mariana. Dressed - dinner at 7:05 in ¾ hour - a little music - coffee at 8 ½ - then played & won one game at draughts the first Miss H- & I ever played together I being teacher on the occasion - then won one hit at backgammon - from 10:20 to 11:35 read aloud from page 440 to 496 end of chapter 16 & volume 2 8vo [octavo] Gibbon's Decline & fall of the Roman empire - five minutes in her room: we now get on pretty well together, she gets accustomed to me and is quite persuaded of my devotion and not unflattered or unpleased by it. Mr Henry Ellis[56] is brother to Lady Goderich[57] but born out of wedlock. Miss H reckoned up forty-two first cousins saying he would make another as he was one by blood tho' not acknowledged. This led to the explanation. Came to my room at 11 ¾ - wrote the last 9 ½ lines - fine day - F56° now at 12 tonight - fire in my room as was since this day week - have for some nights back had a bottle of soda water while reading aloud perhaps this did my bowels no good? - took plain water tonight" (25-Nov-1831).

"fine morning F61° at 8 ¼ - still bowels bad as ever: half a dozen small knobs - making notes from Gibbons on flyleaf of Lempriere's classic dictionary[58] till 9:50 then breakfast - Letter from Lady Gordon dated Lower Cheam ? Epsom Thursday 24th inst franked by Lady S[tuart] de [Rothesay] I am to direct to her Messrs Coutts's Strand London - 'mes gensmy people are returned from Spain, after an only seven days voyage out from the same out again - the result has been most unsatisfactory still I'm not quite in despair - & I've still hopes which I thank god never forsake me' It seems she was at first afraid of the house stopping payment and being personally responsible, saw herself forced to fly overseas. 'I don't apprehend this now' then follows what she is proud to tell. An excellent account of Cosmo[59] - his admirable conduct has gained the regard & esteem of all - 'I'm unsettled of course in plans & mind' but hopes that next spring 'our plans may combine' - if does not see Cosmo in England Still thinks of Spain '& what is 7 days steam packet? But of the hereafter' not to tell Miss H all she (Lady G[ordon]) has said, to say nothing of the disagreeables - breakfast at 10 in an hour - out with Miss H- from 11:20 to 12:35 - went to the castle - walked about there some time & returned by the other side [of?] the down to near the church & then turned right & came out into George Street. Out again at 12:50 - walked to the 3 mile stone on the London Road & should have been back in 2 hours but looked about in vain for a little glass china jar or something to hold almond paste for Miss H- Came in at 3:10 - dressed - read from 341 to 472 and of 'Narrative of a voyage to the pacific & Beering's Strait, to co-operate with the polar expeditions: performed in his majesty's ship Blossom, under the command of Captain F. W. Beechey, R.N. F.R.S. etc. in the years 1825, 26, 27, 28. published by authority of the Lords commissioners of the admiralty. in 2 volumes volume 1. London Henry Colburn & Richard Bentley, New Burlington Street 1831'. 'printed by Samuel Bentley, Dorset Street Fleet Street, - volume 1 pages 472 volume 2 pages [blank] 8vo [octavo] - then wrote the above of today till 6 ¾ - Dinner at 7 in 50 minutes - a little music - coffee at 8 ½ - All going on very well - she offered to rub my left arm for rheumatism. I said something else would do better and kissed a little mole on the back of her neck. I had kissed this morning on leaving and she took it all very well till, in my fun, following her to the fire and back she laughed and said I was tiresome, and I said 'Oh! I should teaze her so all my life,' on which she said rather more gravely good-humouredly, but as if really in earnest she hoped not 'What was not the way of both could not be agreeable' and that was not her way. I quietly said she would get me into her way in time. I did not seem to take very much notice but immediately took my book and from 18 ¼ to 11 14 read the first 50 pages chapter 17, volume 3 Gibbon - then looked over the chart of the world & other maps in my atlas till 10:55 & at 11:05 both came up to our rooms - at which hour F62° in the drawing room - "She came to my room for a minute or two, kissed and wished goodnight, saying the maids would be astonished at our coming up so soon, thinking to herself I had taken huff. But the fact is I never felt to care so little about it, glad to get to my room so soon. Surely I shall take this opportunity of getting more into her own way and not teazing her. I shall thus save time and trouble. I shall be a great noodle if I do not give her a specimen of what she likes and let her alone - fine day till 1 then rained more or less small rain all the way to the 3 mile stone very thick & damp returning but fair on getting home & afterwards damp evening - F59½° in my room (very small fire) now at 11:25 after writing the last 16 lines" (26-Nov-1831).

"fine morning (finer an hour ago) & F57½° now at 9 ½ a.m. - breakfast at 10 in 18 minutes on cold apple pie & bun - looked 10 minutes at the paper then came upstairs and all the while on the pot - did three or four buttons about as much as I had done on getting up. Miss H observed on my having breakfasted so quickly. 'What a reform, better late than never,' said I very quietly, really caring little about it. At 11 Miss H- & I went to church (in the crescent) - 2 clergymen - sacrament today - did not stay - sermon 28 minutes from 10th verse of something 'we shall all stand before the judgement seat of Christ' - after church from 1 walked with Miss H- ½ hour up & down the parade - then without coming in went to the private road to St. Clement's caves,[60] just behind the Croft, & walked up & down for an hour, & came in at 2:40 went into the drawing room for ¾ hour - Miss H- gave me the paper - sat reading it all the time - she wanted me not to come to my room without a fire but I preferred it & came up at 3 ½ - I could not help thinking of Miss H while walking but never with more indifference. As to giving up all too great(t) attention, the contrast evidently strikes her and seems more abrupt than I wish, but what can I do? If I cannot be quite natural I must be graver, but my own feelings are so much more comfortable and indifferent on the subject than before that I hope I shall manage very well by and by. But if I do, the tables will be turned perhaps and she seek me when I am no longer much in the humour to be found - wrote the above of today till 3:55 - then till 5 ½ wrote 2 ½ pages to Lady G[ordon] 'As I have not got a frank, I am quite sure my letter will not be worth postage, my honest scruples would get the better, were it not for the persuasion or the hope that you will find some motive or other for letting me escape judgement'. . . . . congratulate her on the admirable accounts of Cosmo - deeply regret that the result of her inquiry into pecunary matters is not more favourable - and in conclusion gave Miss H-'s kind love & join her congratulations to mine upon Sir Alexander's[61] ushership[62] as well as upon the accounts of Cosmo - I see she is unsettled in plans & mind - but she has excellent advisers within her reach & I hope all will be able to see clearly what is best - 'there seems to be so good a prospect of an advantageous arrangement being made for Cosmo, yet you will probably not see him in England; & I begin to think the chances in favour of their going to Spain, are considerable - what may be your plans after leaving here on the 1st of April, I can have no very definite idea as yet, they depend on some casualtiescausalities?[sic] which I shall not be able to calculate long beforehand - but you shall hear from me when I am better informed - In the mean time I shall be glad to know the progress of your plans & shall be anxious for these concerns to take as favourable a turn as possible - Miss Hobart send her kind love, & joins me in congratulations etc, etc. Surely you have much more reason for hope than despair - I have not said a word you wished me not, tho' we talk of you frequently - In this respect I think you may trust me always - Ever, my dear Lady Gordon, very truly yours A Lister' - wrote the last 15 lines & at 6 ¼ sent off my letter to 'Lady Duff Gordon, Messrs Coutts's, Strand, London' - read a few pages De la Beches Geology - dressed - dinner at 7:05 in 35 minutes - then 50 minutes music Coffee at 8 ½ Miss H- read aloud from her journal till after 10 - too late for Gibbon, so she (Miss H-) wrote out for Saturday from her journal while I read from page 458 to 475 De la Beche's Geology - Left Miss H- in the drawing room & came to my room at 11:12 - fine rather frosty aired day - sat with my left arm to the fire for its rheumatism sat with my left arm to the fire all the evening & hardly ever moved (so no nonsense tonight)".

In the margin: "Miss H came to her room at eleven and three-quarters till 12 ¼ read forward to 487 De la Beche's geology - F58° now at 12:20 tonight" (27-Nov-1831).

"read a little of yesterday's paper - down to breakfast at 10 - breakfast in 20 minutes - came upstairs at 10:40 at which hour F58° and fine morning - making notes from Beechey volume 1. till 11 ¼ - out at 11 ½ for an hour - to the end of High Street & then up & down the parade - out again at 12:51 - at 2:40 at the 6th mile stone on the London road - went even[?] a couple of hundred yards farther, past the black horse public house to within sight of Battle, 2 miles off,[63] & started my walk back from the 6th mile stone at 2 ¾, & came in at 4:25 - i.e. walked the 12 ½ miles, good reckoning to this house, in 3 ½ hours - dressed - In very good spirits today, but perfectly well conducted - no nonsense. Sat with my arm to the fire tonight as yesterday while she played. Perfectly civil but no particular attention. While walking this morning she put her arm thro' the hole in my cloak and leaned on mine saying 'Now look at me or you won't understand it.' I did look and quietly said 'I don't think of understanding now.' 'Are not you astonished?' 'Yes,' said I, 'indeed I am' and took no more notice. I can keep up well enough to my present pitch and care not how it ends or what effect it has on her. She may spaniel-like like me better for it and be more liante herself. I am indifferent about [it]: I feel I could like her or can do without it just as it happens. Somehow when I think of Mariana it is as she was when I saw her last in Dover Street, neither very agreeable nor very personally attractive and I feel as if I dreaded being tied to her. I could neither get her into society or keep myself there - fine November day - thickish & rather frosty - in walking saw the water pools & the road had everywhere been iced over last night - F[ahrenheit] in a shop window about 11 ½ a.m. in High Street stood at 36°  F55° in my room at 11:35 - Twenty minutes on the pot and did ten or twelve little round bits" (28-Nov-1831).

"After twenty minutes did six or seven little round lumps  fine frosty morning - F38° at 8 ¼ just outside my window - from 9 ¾ to 10:25 making extract from Beechey volume 1. & looking into Gibbon volume 3. - breakfast at 10 ½ in ½ hour and came upstairs at 11 - Miss H had letter from Lady S[tuart] said very little on the subject of the copies of the letters to and from Lord Bucks. Miss H said at first that Lady S[tuart] had said nothing. 'Ah,' said I, 'that disappoints me.' 'Yes,' said Miss H, 'aunt is always for half measures.'[64] I said she, Miss H, would know by this time how little I was for them. She by and by said I was to eat up the third bun to please her. 'Am I always,' said I, 'to please you?' 'Yes, as you have hithe[r]to done.' 'Well, if I may be let off for no more than I have hitherto done it will be easy enough, but I am improved.' 'Yes,' said she, with a smile of satisfaction as if really meaning what she said, 'you are very much improved.' This look and manner vexed me for the moment. Oh, oh, thought I, then there is really an end of tenderness forever. It pleases you that I should thus hurry over and away from my breakfast, that I should scarce be in the room till after dinner, that I should walk at your time and do all that suits you. Well, I shall gradually, so as not to seem done from annoyance, take more and my own time and eventually perhaps breakfast alone. I am vexed, I sit wounded: pride or affection. Thank heaven I think it cannot be the latter and I hope I shall soon be indifferent enough on both points she and I can have no real sympathy, so here I am alone in heart in all but appearance. Is it a winter wasted, or is it of any use to have appearances? Well, it is my own doing. I wonder what will be the event. Yet still this does not draw me nearer to Mariana. Shall I turn to sullen solitude and care for none? 'Tis just 11 ½ as I have written the last line - from 11:50 to 12:10 walked with Miss H- along the footpath by Bohemia into the St. Leonards & Hastings road & back that way - out again at 12:25 - some time talking to Mr Baker the druggist - to send me a pill of 3 grains calomel & a weak black draught then some time at Woolls the bookseller's - then walked to the fourth mile stone on the London road & back at 4:25 - 10 minutes in the drawing room - Miss H- called me in very good humouredly, but I was very stately, coldly civil. I shall be glad when the time comes that I really care nothing about her. Miss H- had had civil note from Lady Ann Scott in excuse for not having called on Miss H- & myself - from 5 to 6:25 read the whole of Monday's paper - sad accounts of riots at Lyons[65] - dressed - dinner at 7:10 in 35 minutes - 35 minutes music - coffee at 8:40 - won 1 hit at backgammon - from 9 ¾ to 11:05 read aloud from page 99 to 168 being chapter 18 volume iii Gibbon - came to my room at 11 ¼ - Sat by the fire while she played and very grave yet very civil, seemed no[t] to notice her two or three little efforts at kindness and avoided the occasion for conversation by backgammon and reading. Said I should not appear till evening tomorrow. She begged me to come down for half hour in the middle of the day to have broth or something; offered to come and read the newspaper to me and to sing to me after dinner - all [of] which I very civilly declined. The moment I have ceased to care for her we shall get on well enough. She alluded to Naples today when walking; I somehow avoided making any direct reply. She will guess perhaps by and by her little chance of my going with her there. I shall have enough of pother before the first of April next with our running my head into another winter of it - Miss H- to Lady S[tuart] de R[othesay] this evening saying from me that I would write in a few days - came to my room at 11 ¼ - very fine clear frostyish day - the cleanest roads & finest most agreeable calm day we have had since leaving London - F[ahrenheit] out of my window 34° now at 11:40 p.m. & fine night - pill of 3 grains calomel from Mr Baker which [I] took on getting into bed, & weak black draught for the morning" (29-Nov-1831).

"Breakfast in bed at 10 ½, one cup of tea & one small bit buttered toast Four largeish motions before and as many small ones after breakfast. The first motion was of little balls the second one short thick plug, as it were, and then all loose - Lay in bed the whole day till 6 ¼ - downstairs at 7 - dinner at 7 ¼ - ½ hours music - I reading the newspaper part of the Times - coffee at 8 ¾ - afterwards from 9 ¼ to 10 ¼ lost one & won one hit at backgammon - Miss H- then played & sang a little while I read to page 36 Beechey volume 2 & almost immediately came to my room at 11:03 She sang some of her pathetic ballads and asked me if I heard the words. I said so gravely and indifferently. No more passed. She seemed as if she would have been more liante but my gravity forbade. Shall I dislike her in time? About five began feeling myself and at last incurred a cross think[ing] of Mariana just at the last, tho' saying to myself 'Well, I like not much the thought of being tied to her whatever becomes of Miss H.' Miss H went out to walk about 1 but was caught by rain in returning - she had an unmeaning letter from her uncle Mr Sullivan this morning - wrote the above of today" (30-Nov-1831).

December 1831 >

[1] The Honourable Anne Louisa Bertie, Lady Stuart (1747-1841). This is the Lady Stuart than Anne visits in Richmond in GJ.
[2] Founded by Francis Lambert in 1803 at the shop Anne visited in Coventry Street, the company became Lambert & Rawlings around 1819, and was bought by Harman & Co. in 1916 - who continued to trade as "Harman & Lambert" in New Bond Street until 1970.
[3] Now 'The Royal Bell', but the building Anne knew was demolished around 1900.
[4] I think Anne means Sundridge Lodge, part of the Sundridge Park estate.
[5] More likely to be a Miss Jenison, one of the granddaughters of Lady Pembroke's sister, Lady Diana Spencer (not that one).
[6] Elizabeth Herbert, Countess of Pembroke (1737-1831).
[7] Located in Sevenoaks High Street, and later known as the "Royal Crown Hotel", sadly the Crown is no more.
[8] Probably "View of the State of Europe during the Middle Ages" by Henry Hallam (1772-1859), published in 1818.
[9] "Principles of Geology" by Charles Lyell (1797-1875), published in 1830.
[10] I think she means Tonbridge: there is a town called Tunbridge Wells a few miles from Tonbridge, but the "large handsome gothic school" has to be Tonbridge School.
[11] Battle Abbey, founded by William the Conqueror after the Battle of Hastings.
[12] Sir Henry Thomas De la Beche, English geologist and palaeontologist (1796-1855). His "A Geological Manual" was published in 1831.
[13] "On The Curative Influence Of The Southern Coast Of England: Especially That Of Hastings, With Observations On Diseases In Which A Residence On The Coast Is Most Beneficial" by Dr William Harwood, published c.1828.
[14] The present address is 13 Tackleway. Looks OK to me.
[15] This may be "The Memoirs of the Empress Josephine" by John Smythe Memes, published 1831.
[16] "Batting" might refer to cotton or woollen wadding used in quilts, mattresses, etc.
[17] A word is missing here.
[18] Captain Charles Yorke RN, MP for Cambridgeshire 10-Dec-1832 to 18-Nov-1834.
[19] Martello towers are small defensive forts built during the early C19 to guard against possible invasion. The nearest surviving tower (#55) to St Leonards is 7~8 miles away - so Anne is probably talking about towers that no longer exist.
[20] Located on the corner of Clemens & High Streets. Originally the Balcony Boarding House, renamed Copps' Royal Hotel c.1819 when it had 100 beds and stabling for 50 horses and 40 carriages. It went bankrupt in 1841 and was demolished in 1847.
[21] Vere's half-brother, George Hobart-Hampden, 5th Earl of Buckinghamshire.
[22] Another half-brother, Charles Hobart, RN (Royal Navy), who died in June 1813 (Debrett).
[23] It's still there.
[24] Sir Richard Phillips (1767-1840) who claimed to have disproved Newton's theory of gravity. He hadn't.
[25] "The Hindu Pantheon" by Edward Moor (1771-1848), published in 1810.
[26] Gloucester Lodge on Quarry Hill, St Leonards. Renamed from the Castellated Villa in 1831 after Princess Sophia's visit.
[27] Princess Sophia Matilda of Gloucester (1773-1844) was a niece of King George III.
[28] Actually it's gravity.
[29] "Torneo" might refer to a valley in Finland or mountains in Switzerland. Anne may be thinking of a quote from "The Pleasures of Hope" by Thomas Campbell: "There be, perhaps, who barren hearts avow, Cold as the rocks on Torneo's hoary brow". Thank you Twitter!
[30] Ringer's solution?
[31] Lady Caroline Duff Gordon (d.1875), a friend of Anne's. Born Caroline Cornewall, she married William Gordon (later Sir William Duff Gordon) in 1810. William Gordon was involved in the slave trade and died in 1823.
[32] The Honourable Frederick Longworth Browne (1811-1864).
[33] The Honourable Anne Browne, née Cavendish (1774-1863). Wife of the 2nd Baron Kilmaine.
[34] Village 5 miles north-east of Hastings.
[35] This may be Henry G Bohn's Catalogue of a Very Select Collection of Books English and Foreign; his more famous "General" catalogue was not published until 1841.
[36] Lady Elizabeth Margaret Yorke (d.1867), who married Lady Stuart's son, Sir Charles Stuart, in 1816. Charles Stuart became Baron Stuart de Rothesay in 1828.
[37] The Rt Hon John Sullivan, MP (1749-1839), married (1789) Vere's aunt, Lady Henrietta Anne Barbara Hobart (d.1828).
[38] Narrative of a voyage to the Pacific and Beering's strait, to co-operate with the polar expeditions: Performed in His Majesty's ship Blossom, under the command of Captain F.W. Beechey in the years 1825, 26, 27, 28 by Frederick William Beechey (1796-1856), published c.1831.
[39] The "New Pelham Baths" at the rear of Pelham Place. Described in the 1827 edition of the Hastings Guide as having a spacious stone entrance hall, two octagonal saloons decorated with "beautiful Chinese scenery" and 11 warm baths. Sadly no longer in existence.
[40] According to The Hand-Book of Hastings, St. Leonard's and Their Neighbourhood (1845) by Mary Matilda Howard Cove , Covehust Cottage "now pulled down" stood at the foot of the ravine ("Fairlight Glen") cut by the stream below the Dripping Well.
[41] Joseph Planta, MP for Hastings 1827 - 1844.
[42] Also mentioned in The Hand-Book of Hastings, St. Leonard's and Their Neighbourhood.
[43] I think this "Dripping Well" is the waterfall in what is now the Hastings Country Park.
[44] Fairlight Place still exists, in Barley Lane.
[45] Most likely St. Andrew's Church on Coastguard Lane.
[46] The "North" (a second "South" Lodge was built after Anne's time) Lodge to Bohemia House. The Lodge was located on the site of 220 Bohemia Road. Bohemia House was demolished in the 1970s.
[47] Guestling is about 4 miles from Pelham Crescent.
[48] The "ladies Scott" were Lady Anne Elizabeth Montagu-Scott (1796-1844) (mentioned on the 25th) and her sisters. Anne mentions "Lady Ann and Lady Margaret Scott" on December 5 - Lady Margaret Harriet Montagu-Scott (1811-1846) was Lady Anne's sister. In 1831 she, and another of of Lady Anne's sisters (Lady Harriet Janet Sarah Montagu-Scott, 1814-1870), was unmarried.
[49] George Wooll, carver, gilder, bookseller and stationer. Traded at 5 High Street until 1837.
[50] John Augustus Sullivan, son of Vere's aunt, Lady Henrietta Sullivan (Hobart).
[51] General Charles Stuart (1810-1892), who was Lady Stuart's grandson.
[52] Anne's sums are all wrong, and I think the bills are for 16, not 17, days: the daily cost comes to £3.1.1. Perhaps £300 today, this is a huge amount to spend on meat.
[53] Possibly Harriet (Smith), wife of Colonel John Frederick Crewe, Willoughby Crewe's brother.
[54] I think that this is a reference to Pelham Arcade, which still exists between Pelham Crescent and the sea.
[55] I think that this is Lady Elizabeth Caroline Mary Crichton (1779-1856), who married Lady Stuart's nephew, James Archibald Stuart-Wortley-Mackenzie, the first Baron Wharncliffe (raised 1826). The fact that Anne doesn't refer to her as "Lady Wharncliffe" does introduce some doubt, however.
[56] Henry Ellis' father was Vere's uncle, Robert Hobart, 4th Earl of Buckinghamshire. He was 17 or 18 when Ellis was born. Henry Ellis (d.1855) was an MP, diplomat, traveller and author, and was himself knighted.
[57] Lady Sarah Albinia Louisa Hobart (1793-1867), Vere's cousin, who, in 1814, married Frederick John Robinson, the 1st Earl of Ripon (1782-1859), known as The Viscount Goderich from 1827 to 1833. He became Prime Minister in 1827 but resigned after 144 days - becoming the shortest-serving British Prime Minister in history who did not die in office.
[58] Bibliotheca Classica; or, a Classical Dictionary, containing a full account of all the proper names mentioned in ancient authors, etc. by John Lemprière, published in 1788.
[59] Cosmo Lewis Duff Gordon (1812-1876), Lady Gordon's son. This Cosmo was the father of another Cosmo Duff Gordon - who disgraced himself by escaping from the Titanic by violating the "women & children first" rule. The event is dramatised in the 1997 film Titanic.
[60] Located on West Hill, the caves were formed around 14,000 BC & rediscovered in the 1820s.
[61] Sir Alexander Cornewall Duff-Gordon (1811-1872). Lady Gordon's son.
[62] Sir Alexander was appointed Assistant Gentleman Usher to King William IV on October 6, 1831.
[63] There is a Black Horse pub 2 miles from Battle, but it's only 4 miles from Hastings - so don't know which road Anne is referring to.
[64] I have edited this sentence; the original reads: 'ah said that I that disappoints me' 'yes said Miss H aunt is always for half measures'.
[65] The first Canut Revolt by Lyonnais silk workers, which started on or around November 21.
Page updated 8-Jul-2021
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